


Wishing on a starfish

by dannyboy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Mermaidstuck, Merstuck, Mom is not the same as roxy i just wanna tell you that, mermaid!kanaya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:38:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2216139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dannyboy/pseuds/dannyboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Rose is a human with an abusive mother and Kanaya is a mermaid that has been watching over her for years.</p><p>--Updating as often as i can--</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came from the prompt i received from this-good-knight. i try to update as often as I can, but with school that can mean anywhere from a week to two weeks!  
> Happy reading!

===> Be the mermaid

Your name is Kanaya Maryam and you wish that Vriska would slow down. She zips through the water like a torpedo, holding her ridiculous pirate hat in one hand. “Please Slow Down Vriska I Cannot Keep Up With You At This Point” you wheeze after her. She doesn’t slow down at all but instead cackles back at you and flips her tail even faster. “It’s not my fault you can’t keep up with my speed fussyfangs! Maybe you should spend less time eating and more time swimming” She laughs some more. “Yes You Are Right As Always Vriska I Should Starve And Neglect My Need To Eat, So I Can Keep Up With A Maniacs Pace.” You roll your eyes.

She really is a handful, but that’s what you get for getting the clan's rebel as a best friend. None of the other mermaids could stand her constant teasing and antics except for you. You sigh and pump your tail faster until you are almost parallel with her. She flashes you a smile full of teeth. “I told you that you could do it ::::)” the bottom of the ocean floor has turned into blur and sunken ships have been reduced to brown smudges

“Please...Vriska…Slow...Down”

“Not a chance in hell honey we gotta go to this gr8 place quickly or we won't be able to explore as much”

“I...Am...Positive...We...Can...Get...There...In...Time...Even...If...You...Slow...Down”

You can't breathe. How she keeps this pace is beyond you. Your breathing is ragged, your gills fluttering at a million miles an hour and your movements are beginning to become choppy as your tail starts to rebel against you.

“W8!!!” Vriska throws her hand up and you both stop before you slam face first into the side of a ship. Immediately you double over and clutch your sides. your gills have opened up to maximum trying to suck all oxygen out of the water that you can making it painful to breathe. Vriska punches your shoulder and points up at what is ahead of you. A vast pirate ship looms over your heads. Its wood is already half rotted of. Algae covers all that you can see in a blanket of muddy green.Barnacles form massive colonies all over. Fish duck under the decayed beams and swim in and out of skull eye sockets. The whole thing is so big that you can't possibly take it all in with one glance, but before you can take it all in Vriska is already pulling you forward.

“Vriska I Do Not Think That Exploring Such Rickety Remains Is A Good Idea” you caution “noooooooo! we didn't come this whole way to not go inside! thats a w8ste of adventure kanaya” she tugs you into the remains of the ship and doesn't listen to your protests. Soon as you make it past the first ten feet you are plunged into complete darkness. Its the kind of darkness that you can almost feel pressing in on you. Vriska coughs expectantly at you and you groan.

“Do I Really Have To Do That Now?”

“Unless you want the 8ig scary monsters to get you, then yes!”

you shudder at the thought of something big, intimidating and full of teeth watching you. You think 'light' and your bio-luminescence kicks in. Spots of white light pop out all over your body tracing their way down your spine, on your gills, as well as down your stomach. Underneath your scales light up and the thin flesh between the prongs of your tail glow bright white. “whoooooooo 8a8y look at you, shining like a beautifully demonic flashlight! way to go champ!” Vriska claps you on the back and you wince. you know she is trying to be supportive but your gift for “lighting up like a possessed Christmas tree” (whatever a Christmas tree is) makes you feel like a freak. When you first found out you had the ability to emit light you automatically hated it. It wasn't beautiful at all but shined what you thought was instead a weird ugly light. It rarely ever came in handy except for times like this.

“Hey look over here Kan. i found an eyepatch!!!!!!!!” Vriska says. She has a weird black piece of cloth attached to strings tied to her face. “Take That Off Vriska!!! You Dont Know Where That Thing Has Been. If You Want One So Badly I Can Sew You One But Do Not Touch That Disgusting Thing. It Could Be Infected” You wrinkle your nose. To even think that she had pulled that disgusting thing off of a corpse and put it so readily on her person makes you nauseous. She sticks her tongue out at you and continues to “loot” the rest of the ship.

You ruffle through old chests and look on the floor for little treasures. As you finish digging around in an old wicker box something on the floor catches your eye. It doesn't stand out against the sand floor at all. You bend to pick it up and brush the sand off. Its an oyster, it looks like a good one too. Using your talons you split it just barely enough to peek inside. Sure enough there is a fat pearl sitting inside. You grin at the sight of it, _perfect_ you think. It falls into your bag made of fishing net with a satisfying plunk.

You and vriska spend quite a few hours exploring some more. Only a few things make it into your bag but by the end of the trip you have successfully looted the ship. Between the both of you have quite a haul; a full set of silverware, two new pirate hats, an assortment of string/cloth things (all of which you tried to get rid of multiple times), an antique comb, a sack of gold coins and one oyster.

The swim home is much more relaxing than the one there. Vriska's tail lazily swishes in the water, back and forth in a slow rhythm. You two don't talk much on the way back but just swim side by side. These are the times that you feel especially close to vriska. Not as a friend, but as something more. It's moments like this when you feel like maybe, just maybe, someday you could court her and maybe it could even work.

__. . . . . . . ._ _

You are halfway home when you tell vriska to go ahead of you. She doesn't argue just huffs at you and swims away. Her blue tail flutters out of your peripheral vision and you grin.

You drift to the surface, thrust your head through the water and take a gulp of air. The fresh air burns its way down your throat until at last it hits your lungs. Your eyes sweep the shore until they settle on a cluster of rocks. a figure reclines on its surface under a black umbrella, her books lie untouched. you crawl just under the surface until you reach her. You are careful not to wake her when you gently place the oyster on the edge.

Your eyes find the girl again. Her hair falls over her face slightly and her mouth is turned down at the edges in a slight frown. Its when she sleeps that she looks like the child she used to be. The truth is that you have been watching this human girl for years. Of course, you don't like to call it watching, because that just sounds creepy. Instead you call it observing, watching over her, because that is really what you are doing. Really. She first appeared when you were only three sweeps old. You remember that day clearly because it was the first day that you had ever seen a human, and it was the first time you ever approached shore.

 **=== >**Be past Kanaya Maryam

 _I_ _t was raining, hard. You only noticed when your head broke the surface and felt the pelting of water on your head. The ocean around you was indignant, thrashing its waves violently in a rage. A cold sea wind accompanies it, howling morosely in your ears to the lonely tune of waves crashing. you are tossed around as you struggle to make your way to the shore swimming on the surface is too hard, the sea water is relentless, pummeling you from all angles and so you duck under the water. Diving deep into the ocean, you glide with your belly almost touching the floor. When you come up again you see a group of rocks somewhere near the shore and you fight your way too it. It isn't until you are safely nestled between the grey boulders that you notice someone is sitting on the rock above you not 5 feet away. You shrink down timidly, and thank your stars Vriska isn't here, she would have laughed at the way you trembled. It’s the first time you've ever seen a human, and she is much different than you thought people were like. You grew up hearing about grotesque men with eye patches, white whiskers, with three rows of teeth and only had one leg. They were the things of nightmares that older mermen and mermaids would tell wrigglers about. They were crude, dirty people who would capture you in moldy nets if they saw ever saw you. But this human, she was different. You look at her cautiously, looking for any signs of extra teeth or whiskers. She didn't look dangerous at all. You continue to observe her, your hungry eyes taking every detail in so that you could rehash it to your friends later. The human was small, young, with a shock of white hair that fell over her face, dripping in water. Her body is curled into a ball as she convulses. She shakes and you wonder if she is okay. It doesn’t look healthy the way her nose drips and how red her eyes are. Her mouth seems to quiver and small noises escape her. The human, you've decided to call her not-whiskery, is hunched over, and hastily wipes at her eyes and looks out onto the ocean. She is still emitting little sobs but they are less intense now, and her breath even starts to even out._

_That is when you notice it._

_A small bruise blossoming on the young girl’s cheek._ _Your heart swells with something. Anger? Hatred? Yes it is one of the two, and it is directed towards whoever did this to her. You haven’t spoken a word to her but already you feel a strange protectiveness and you wish that you could help this wilted human in some way but you know you can’t._

_You don’t know how long you both wait there, you watching, as she sits unaware of your presence._

_In the house, at least you assume it is a place of dwelling, lights are flickering on and off and loud crashes come from within its marble walls. This must have some significance because the girl begins to tremble. “Rosey? Rosey darling where are you? I’m so sorry baby it won’t happen again! Please come back! Rosey? Rosey? Where are you baby girl?” a watery voice pierces the air. The human looks back at the house and wipes her tears and masks her face in a cold expression on and walks back to the house. Her face looks like the stony marble walls now, cold and expressionless. You wonder how someone so young could have mastered her emotions so well. Just as she casts one look back at the rolling water she mouths something under her breath. You don’t have to speak her language to know it’s a prayer to some higher power._

_Your stomach tightens, right beneath your gills and you wish there was something you could do. You wish you could call out to her, stop her from going back into that house, but you can’t and a feeling of uselessness creeps its way into your head. You wait until you see the doors swing shut until you slide beneath the water and make your journey back to the colony._

_When you enter back into the camp you brush your friends away and don’t say anything to anyone. You never let them know what you saw that day._

**==** >Be the human

Your name is Rose Lalonde and you really hate your house. Sure, it's big and yes you know you have everything you want but something about the towering white walls are toxic. If you spend too much time inside you begin to feel closed in, like a weight is dropped onto you. Your chest begins to tighten, your lungs feel like they are collapsing in on themselves and a cloud of overwhelming depression begins to set in until your brain declares that enough is enough and you have to run out of the big oak doors. Those are the times when you are glad you live by the ocean. When you were younger you would love to climb onto the big rocks off the shore and sit watching the waves. The ebb and flow of the waves and the sound of seagulls brought a solace that you now found at the bottom of the glass or in the depths of your journal. But as you aged you never did really abandon your rock. Maybe it was some bit of you that was still a sad child that remembered the calmness that came with rock that continually drew you back. So even now that you are 17, you still go and sit. you bring books, a black umbrella and a towel with you. And so you sit, and write, and sit, and read, and sit and cry, and drink and laugh and sit some more and you never do anything else.

 **== >**Be the past mermaid again

__You are now 4 sweeps old. It’s dark again. That’s the only time you can see the human. She isn’t there today, for some reason. You had hoped that she would be, but the rock is as empty as ever. You skim through the water silently although you know there is no one around to hear you. In your hand you hold a shell. Its insides are light milky lavender and they reminded you of the human’s eyes. You found it one day when Vriska forced you and Tavros to come “explore old pirate ships ::::)’ with her and decided to leave it on the rock as a present. You imagine her face would light up when she found the little treasure. Maybe she would take it back into the marble structure and keep it on her dresser. Maybe she would look out at the sea and wonder who left it for her. Or maybe, just maybe, she would start believing in miracles again._ _

__. . . . . . . ._ _

__You are now 6 sweeps old. you have been leaving your human presents for 2 sweeps now. Somewhere along the those years you have known her, she evolved from the human to **your** human. You’re not sure how that happened. maybe you left the “the” behind along with the countless gifts. you dont know what humans find valuable so you give her a bit of everything. today it is a bent metal object with some sort of scooping device attached to the end. on the other end is some sort of rock. Personally you like it for the way it sparkles and you hope she does too. Its the usual routine when you approach her rock. Duck under the water, look, duck, swim a bit, look again until you reached her. Then wait for her to fall asleep, walk away,or get immersed in her book and leave it on the ledge and swim away. You've never lingered long enough to see her actually find the object but you hope she likes it. _ _

__. . . . . . . ._ _

__You are still 6 sweeps, but today is the first time you have gotten anything in return. It's not much, just a bit of her left over orange-juice-ball. It sits on a napkin, orange, glistening. You hold it up to the light, admiring how the light shone through the translucent slice. You aren't sure how you are supposed to eat it. After slight thought you pop it in your mouth and crunch down with your teeth. All of a sudden juice floods your taste buds. It tastes like the sun feels, with all the cool freshness of a breeze. You savor the last of it, disappointed when the taste fades from your mouth.__

__That night you dream of sunshine._ _

==> Go back to being current Rose

Like most days your mother began her morning off with a drink. you knew this because as soon as you came downstairs your nose caught drift of the pungent smell of her martini’s. you say that plural because she always starts off with three or four. you double back to your room to slip on your old bathing suit and throw on a tank top before creeping your way down stairs. The second step creaks like it always does, and the wizard statues glower at you from every angle. You make a quick stop at the kitchen; grab an orange and a glass of water. Your umbrella, bag, and sunscreen are just where you left them from the day before and you grab them and dash out the door hastily, wanting to avoid any contact with your mother. The ocean is calm today, barely any waves break its cool glass surface and a comforting gust of wind promises you a serene day. You lay out your towel on the rocks surface and wedge your black umbrella, a gift from your friend jade, into one of the crevices to serve as a refreshing spot of shade. After you are situated, you begin to slather sunscreen on your pale skin (curse the Strider-Lalonde genes) and set back to enjoy the sun.

You end up falling asleep and don't wake up until the sun has taken its position half way in the sky. You lazily blink your eyes and peer around. The waves haven't moved much, the rock is the same, in fact it’s almost like the world stood still as you slept. All except for something resting at the edge of the rock. It's... An oyster? Sitting up you hastily grab it and inspect it. It's the size of the palm of your hand, rough grey, with dark striations. You rub your thumb across the lips of the shell. Your bag always has an assortment of odd and ends so you aren't surprised when you find a fork wedged between your book and journal. You jam the metal prongs and pry the shells apart.

A gasp escapes your lips.

In the center of the oyster lies a flawless white pearl. You pick it up, cradling it between thumb and index finger. It looks so beautiful that you feel if you apply even the slightest amount of pressure you will shatter it. Out of all the gifts you've ever gotten this is the only one that has ever left you speechless. You don’t have to wonder who left it, you already know.

When you were a kid things would appear on your rock ever few days. A shell, old jewelry, an interesting rock, just little odds and ends. One time you got a rusty spoon, you thought at first there would be some redeeming quality but on inspection you found it was simply an ordinary spoon. Everything you ever received you put in a shoe box that you kept under your bed. In especially lonely times you would take them out and inspect them. They never failed to bring a smile to your face.

But this, this pearl, it was something different. To simply shove it in a dusty box only to be opened once in a while would be a sin. No, you had to find something finer to put it in. The metal bracelet on your wrist gives you an idea; you stand up to go. Then you think again and sit back down to dig your journal out of your bag.

_Dear mysterious gift giver,_

_My name is Rose and I am the girl you have been leaving things on this rock for years. I’m not sure who you are but I am grateful for all the gifts you have entrusted me with. As a token of my appreciation please accept my bracelet. It’s not much I know but I hope that you can accept it. If you would like to keep in contact with me my pesterchum is tentacleTheripist_

_Thank you,_

_Rose Lalonde_

You sign with a flourish and hold the paper in front of you to inspect your handiwork. Deciding that it is good enough you rip it out of your journal and place it where you found the oyster. You unclasp the bracelet and leave it on the edge of the note as well as a pen and an extra piece of paper in case they want to write a note back.


	2. Chapter two

==> Be the human

Your mother is passed out on the couch; empty glasses and bottles lie scattered around her in disarray. You let out an annoyed hiss, more work to do before you can leave this place, oh boy. The martini glasses make a light tinkling noise when you pick them up as they join the collection of dirty dishes in the sink. 

_Oh mother, you are getting sloppy,_ you think as you put the vodka bottle back in the fridge.  
It's rare that she drinks straight out of the bottle, so she must be especially moody today.  
After all the remnants of her drinks are cleared up, including the shattered pieces of the glass that fell out of her hand, you bring a blanket down from your room. You lay it gently on top of her and tuck the corners under her sleeping form and make sure her head is tilted to the side just enough so that if she throws up she doesn't choke on her own vomit.  
You leave her on the couch and make your way upstairs now. 

Getting ready to head into town is an easy feat to accomplish. You shed your bathing suit in favor of a clean bra and panties, and tug on a long black bohemian skirt with a slit up the side. Your shirt color options are some what limited; you have your choice between black, white or lavender. The closest thing to you right now is a lavender crop top with the pink Floyd prism on it. You tug it over your head. The shirt is cut off mid stomach so your belly ring is out in plain sight. When you were visiting New York you got the piercing partially as part of your "rebellious teenage phase' but mostly it was to spite your mother. It didn't work of course, she just smiled at you and told you it looked nice and perhaps she was going to get one too. 

Old hag. You know her lack of discipline is her way of trying to use reverse sociology on you. 

Next comes the make up. You usually keep it simple, a bit of foundation, winged eyeliner and black lipstick. Today is nothing special but you decide to brush just the slightest bit of lavender eyeshadow on your top lid anyways.

Perfect.

Before you leave, you decide to text one of your friends. If you're going to the mall, you don't want to go alone.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has begun pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 01:32 --

TT: hello jade  
GG: Hi Rose!!!! What's up? :0  
TT: it's funny that you ask that  
TT: I was actually going to ask what you were doing today  
GG: oh!  
GG: well Bec has a doctors appointment  
GG: but it's not till later  
GG: so i was just going to hang around the house  
GG: why????  
TT: strider would laugh at the amounts of irony I am about to lay down  
TT: but would you like to go to the mall?  
GG: oh my gosh would I!!!!  
TT: would you?  
GG: would I!!!!  
TT: would you?  
GG: would I!!!  
TT: I acknowledge you are referencing a tv show but I will have to cut this short  
TT: I think my mothers waking up  
TT: I must abscond  
GG: good luck Rose!!!! 

 

Downstairs, you hear a thump which can only mean one thing. She fell of the couch, she's probably awake, and you need to avoid her at all costs. grabbing your purse, you open the door, hug the wall and slowly creep down the hallway. The stairs creek and you curse yourself, she heard. "Rosey? Honey is that you? Come talk to mommy for a minute." Your mother slurs. You hate the way her words sound blended together and you want nothing to do with her while she is in this state.

_Composure Rose, composure..._

"I'm going to the mall right now mother, I can't." 

"Uhhhhuuuhh and who gave you permission to do that? You think you're above asking permission? Do you think you know better than me? I'll teach you to undermine me you piece of shit!" She takes personal offense, and flies off the handle as usual. You're upstairs but you can almost smell the alcohol on her breath. Things crash downstairs as she rampages around in a drunken rage. Your feet are glued to the ground. You can't move, so you stand there, heart beating loud enough your afraid she might hear it from the kitchen. "Where are you Rosey? Come out. You can't fucking hide forever" she snarls. A wizard statue clatters to the floor. She's at the foot of her stairs now, drunken eyes sweeping upwards.

Unluckily for you she spots you at the top of the stairs and begins to climb the marble.  
She's 20 meters away, 15, 10, 5, you can't move. 

You can't breathe.

"I found you" she smiles widely, but her eyes are out of focus.

This scene feels familiar to you... Something triggers in your mind, and you switch into all panic mode. You try to push past her and sprint towards the garage but she snags your wrist. Her nails dig into the soft flesh making you wince. She pushes you back.

Kc-crack

Your head makes a sick thump as it collides with the wall. "You aren't leaving this house" mother hisses, her breath stings your nose. Rearing back, her hand is like a cobra ready to strike. 

You can't move. 

The palm of her hand lands on your cheek with a sharp pain that snaps you out of your trance. It has an effect on her too. Her angry expression melts and is replaced with a horrified one. She drops your wrist and staggers back. 

"Rosey... Baby I'm so sorry..." _no you aren't, you never are_

She keeps apologizing, her eyes begin to water but you don't feel sorry for her like you know she wants you too. You know her crying is just another way to manipulate you, and you won't, can't let it affect you. 

You see your chance to get out of the house. While she's in this state, she won't stop you if you make a run for it. 

Move Rose move, _move_

The rest of the dash downstairs passes in a blur. Your heart beat is deafening. "Rosey please come back honey I'm sor-" her sentence is cut off by the slamming of the door. Tears slip down your cheek in wet streaks. Your heart doesn't stop drumming loudly until you are in your car and half the way down the street. Even then you're still shaking just a little bit. Dread floods your heart when you realize that your going to have to go back home and face her. 

Control yourself Rose. You can handle this. 

By the time you reach the mall, the red has faded from your cheek.

 

===> Be the mermaid

After the human leaves, you swim up to the rock. From where you had been watching her before you could see her write something and put it down. And now that you are closer you could see it's a note. Your English was a bit rusty having not read any for years but after a few times reading it you got it. 

"Hello mysterious gift giver..." The letter starts

By the end of it a smile is stretched across your face. You like the way her name sounds on your tongue. Rose Lalonde. It's fitting for her, she seems like a Rose. 

You don't know what a 'pesterchum' is but in that moment you wish that whatever it was that you had one. There is nothing you want more than to speak to your human.

You look at the bracelet. It's a thick metal bangle with three black gems pressed into the surface. It's beautiful you think as you slide it on your wrist. The human- no, Rose- was really kind to leave you something. Besides the juice-ball-slice, this is the only thing you've gotten, and your glad that it's something you can enjoy for more than a few seconds.

You notice there is two things left on the rock; a piece of paper and a pen. 

You pick up the pen but then put it down. Rose can't know you exist, and no matter how painful it is to you, you can't write back to her.

But surely, surely one note can't hurt right? And it's not like you have to tell her your a mermaid...

No no no Kanaya put that pen down you scold yourself. This isn't happening. You are not doing this.

But you want to. You ache to tell her about yourself and you want to know more about her. You want to know what's in her books that she finds so fascinating. You want to know how people grow liquid in little slices. But most of all you want to know what she writes in the little black book she carries around with her.

One can't hurt.... 

You pick up the pen and begin to write. You have to go slow, painfully slow, but after a while you come up with an expectable response.

Hello Rose My Name Is Kanaya Maryam. Thank You So Much For The Bracelet, It Is Very Pretty. I Am Sorry I Have Not Come And Spoken To You Face To Face Before, And I'm Afraid I May Never Be Able Too. My Situation Is Quite Complicated You See.

You end it there but wish that you could tell her more, but that would mean revealing yourself and selling out your whole species. 

For the first time in your life you wished that you had legs and the tail you have feels like a burden as you swim back to the clan.

 

==> Be the human

You give yourself time to sit in the parking lot and relax before you get out of the car. To your friends you were always calm Rose, level headed Rose, not the kind of person who would cry, or allow herself to be slapped around by her mother. They expected you to be a pillar of strength, when in fact you were nothing of the sort. If they were to find out you were just a broken scared little girl they would leave you, like your father did, like Roxy did, like everyone did eventually. That's why you've never told your friends about your 'problems' at home. The truth of the matter is that you are ashamed of your mother, and even more so of your self for not having left by now. The tears are threatening to come back again. Damn it. 

You slowly count to twelve, trying to calm down.  
 _1...stop crying...2...3...focus on your heart beat...4...5...6...breathe...breathe...7...8...9...10...11...12...I'm okay..._  
....I'm okay....  
....I'm okay...  
....I'm okay...

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has begun pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 02:06 --  
TT: I'm here  
GG: oh! Okay where are you?  
TT: just in the parking lot  
TT: I'm about to come in  
TT: where are you?  
GG: I'm in the food court!  
TT: I'll see you there then  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --  
GG: oh darn I forgot to tell you  
GG: Dave and John are here too :D

You find jade sitting at a table in the food court with two boys. It's obviously Dave and John, how you didn't automatically assume that they were going to be here is beyond you. Jade probably invited John along, an Dave is constantly glued to Johns side, but if you were to point that out it might wound his "cool kid status" so you don't touch the subject.  
"Hey Rose!" Jade says As soon as you approach the table. two huge smiles are directed at you, so radiant they could be mistaken as sun beams. Your cousin doesn't greet you, Dave is on tumblr, of course. Just seeing all of them calms you down, and you begin to start to forget you were sad in the first place.

You smile warmly at John and Jade as you take your seat at the metal table. to not smile would be a crime, like kicking a puppy, or stepping on a kitten.  
"Hello Jade" You tilt your head and look at John, a smirk ghosting your lips."John, Why are you here? Did no one tell you this is a girls only trip?"  
John laughs and rustles Dave's shoulder "Ha ha dude she just called you a girl!"  
Oh Egbert humor.  
Dave doesn't look up, just flicks you off and continues scrolling through his dash. His blog is mostly hipster things, bands, anime, shitty fan fiction he wrote for "irony" You don't have a tumblr your self, but if you did, you probably wouldn't follow him. Which is why it comes as a shock to you that he has over nine thousand followers.

"It's nice to see you too Dave"

Then John starts to chatter about the newest Nic Cage movie, which is interrupted by Dave telling him Nic Cage sucks, followed shortly by a loud argument complete with animated gestures. It's a comfortable scene, your friends bantering and talking loudly, flailing their arms wildly. A warm feeling envelopes you as you watch them. 

You catch snippets of their conversation, bits and pieces here and there, but you ware too involved in your thoughts that you can't piece together what they are talking about.

"-then Nic Cage jumped out of a-"  
"-and so I remixed this song and gave it a sick ass beat-"  
"-and then my teacher began to-"  
"-I gained another follower-"  
"-there was this big green gem in the middle-"  
"-so a frog walks into a bank-"  
"-and I was like jake, that's a microwave!"

You allow your thoughts to drift back to the pearl and daydream about who might have left it there. It could be the boy next door but you've never spoken to him before. He probably also would have woken you up if he tired to put it on the edge of the rock, being clumsy and all. So it couldn't possibly be him...

 

Your attention is suddenly yanked violently back to jade who is now standing up and trying to pull you somewhere. 

"Rose Rose Rose oh my god I forgot I have to tell you something! Come here!" You look cautiously at John, who has now started talking to Dave. The boys don't seem like they would notice you leaving so you stand up.  
"Where are we going?"  
"Oh just over to the Burger King line, I wanna get some fries"  
As you stand in line, which was surprisingly longer than you thought it would be, she fills you in on the latest gossip.  
"So I was taking to John the other day right?"  
"I would assume so, you are always at his house..."  
"Yeah yeah I know but this is really interesting your going to want to hear it."

You give her time to continue.

"Okay right, so, he walks into my room right after Dave left, cause I had to stay over there because Grandad was out somewhere and Dave was sleeping that night too...anyway, so he walks in and he's got this serious look on his face and he's like 'jade I need to talk to you' and I'm like okay? Sure what is it, and he goes 'last night while me and Dave were playing halo I looked over at him and he was like 2 inches from my face and we were like almost kissing and it was weird cause I kinda wanted to but I'm not a homosexual so then I got super embarrassed but he didn't seem to notice or care and now I don't know what to do' and so I told him that it was okay to be gay and then he got super flustered and told me he was straight and to never to tell anyone and ran out of my room but I guess I just told you...BUT that's only because I want you to find out what Dave thinks!"

John Egbert might possibly be in love with Dave and you find it hilarious.

You are trying your hardest not to laugh, but you feel a smile coming on. Poor Egbert, poor poor little John Egbert who fell for your oblivious cousin.  
Don't smile, don't you dare smile you chide yourself. But it's too late, you feel your mouth twitch into a grin. Damn it. Your hand quickly goes to your mouth to try to hide it.  
"are you smiling Rose?"  
"I..." Oh god it won't go away "I just find it amusing is all."  
Jades got the kicked puppy look. You messed up, you know you did. Damn your inability to control your smile. She probably thinks your an insensitive asshole now, making light of the situation.  
You scramble to explain yourself."I just...Dave of all people? I just think it's funny that John can find any inkling of a redeeming quality in him. But if he does actually like him then kudos to him, and if he needs my help I'd be glad to assist."  
Jade slings an arm around your shoulders. "Yay!!!! Thank you so much Rose! I knew you would help!"

_What on earth have I gotten myself into..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a mess I'm so sorry. Also! If you like this fic please share it with your friends cause I'm trying to get myself out there as a writer :)  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> edit: the next update wont be out until (im hoping) this Sunday because I've had a lot of stuff on my plate lately, please forgive me


	3. Chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh I'm so sorry this chapter is so late! i had so much stuff to do this week it was absolutely terrible :(  
> anyway, here is the newest chapter, i hope that i can start getting to the actual plot by next week. Enjoy ★

===> Continue to be Rose

After you get back to the table with your steaming fries, you spend the next fifteen minutes talking to your friends. They ask you why you randomly wanted to go to the mall and so you explain to them about the pearl and how someone left it for you, and they almost immediately start bombarding you with questions. Eventually you have to admit that you've never actually met the mysterious person before.   
That of course doesn't stop them from harassing you and teasing you about having a crush on them.  
All this talk about who-ever-they-are makes you even more intrigued. Not about their physical characteristics- no you couldn't care any less about that- but about their personality. You wonder what they like to do, you wonder what they are passionate about, and you wonder why on earth they picked you, of all people, to leave gifts for. You begin to start to daydream until Dave decides he wants to ride the carousel- for irony.

“Its three dollars for one ride, what a rip off. I should sue them for stifling a cool kids potential. I was going to ride the unicorn too…”  
“Oh, well theres a suprise. I thought you would want to ride the big cock” You point at a red rooster with an elaborate saddle on it, and an expression that screams “help” on its painted face.  
“You know me too well sis”  
You let out a half-laugh and go to dig around in your purse. Your fingers close around your faux leather wallet and you pull it out. The little metal clasp makes a popping sound and the coins jingle merrily as you open it up.   
There is plenty of money in there, you like to be “loaded” as your friends would say, in case you see something that you really want to buy. You fish twelve dollars out and hand it to dave.  
“Bro, i only needed like three dollars”  
“Who said you're the only one riding? From what my dark sources tell me, two egberts and a certain blonde lady would like to ride as well.”  
John and Jade cheer and you all head over to the lady behind the counter. She definitely is not the youngest, or the prettiest woman you've seen today. Her back forms a hunch and her head sticks out at a ninety degree angle. Purple cat eye glasses perch on the edge of her nose, a long string of beads connects the ends of the frames and loops around her neck. She gives the four of you an odd look, but eventually takes your money and opens the gates.  
You pick an albino tiger to ride, Jade gets a horse, john picks some odd kind of bird, and dave- sure enough- decides to ride the rooster.   
Flutes start playing an ompa tune as the carousel beneath you creaks to life and slowly begins to rotate around. The music, that must once had been cheerful to you, now sounds like a demonic circus but nonetheless its fun.   
“Rose! Hey Rose look back here! look at what dave’s doing!” John and Jade are laughing, their tan faces glowing with happiness.   
You glance back at your cousin, and sure enough he is making crude pornstar faces. his mouth hangs slightly open and his blond eyebrows are drawn up in a fake whimper as he bounces up and down on the animal. The display looks more ridiculous than erotic and you find yourself laughing, louder than you had in a long time. The lady at the gate looks peeved, deep frown lines etching into her forehead. This only encourages Dave, and he wiggles his eyebrows at her and licks his teeth in an over-exaggerated way. 

You are all laughing hysterically by the time your ride is over. 

 

===> Be Kanaya 

As soon as you push past the seaweed guarding your clan, you are ambushed by Karkat. He comes out of no where in a blur of red and white and tackles you. You're knocked backwards a bit but you regain your balance. His pale arms are wrapped around your stomach, and his face is pressed against your chest. It takes a minute for you to realize that the shorter boy is crying, and you wrap him in a tight embrace.   
“Karkat, Why Are You Crying?”  
“I'M NOT CRYING SHUT UP”  
You pet his ebony hair comfortingly. “No, Of Course You Aren’t Dear”  
He hiccups and tightens his grip, and you feel the heat of peoples stares. They burn your back like a brand. You don't care that they are looking at you, they can judge you as much as they want, you don't want them to judge him.  
You feel bad, you really do, but you force him away. “Come On Karkat, Lets Talk About This Somewhere Else” You grab his hand and drag him away.   
Conveniently it only takes a few seconds to get from the entrance of camp to your market stall, which sells different top-covers for the mermaids. You push the cloth that serves as a door aside and usher him into the back room. You dont want to open the window to let in any light for fear of people seeing, so (as much as you hate it) you light up so that you can see him clearer. His eyes and nose are blotchy and red, and milky liquid seeps from the corners of his eyes, dispersing into the water as soon as they come out. Bruises litter his face, and a cut splits his lip gruesomely, causing it to swell. It reminds you of the girl, those years ago.  
You bend down so that you are eye level with him and cup his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. “Who Did This”  
He sniffles and looks down. “it was some idiots in the market place. They _hiccup_ were throwing things at me and calling me names, so i punched one of them, and we got into a fight”  
“Do You Have Any Names?”  
“no… they were just some guys I’d never seen before”  
Well, theres no help there. Without names theres no hope in confrontation. the only thing that you can do is make sure your moirail is alright.  
This isn't the first time that someone has beat him up, its happened before. You’ve never seen it happen yourself, you mostly just get the aftermath. But if you ever, EVER, found out who did it, you’re sure that you would be the one throwing punches first. 

Karkat is still crying, swiping angrily at his tears and you let your hands fall from his face so to pull him to your chest.   
“Are You Okay?”  
A little whimper comes from where his face is burrowed.  
It mustn't be easy, being such an outcast. You would never be able to understand how it felt. people don't tease you, since you are the sole provider of clothes and coverings for the clan, and your sister porrim is the only enchanter. But karkat, he didn't have a set job in the clan. That plus the fact he was an albino resulted in him being a target for constant harassment from almost everyone. He had you though. You and a few select other people, which oddly enough included the princess and her right hand merman.   
Sadly your protection only reached so far, and so every week or so he managed to get in a fight of some sort.  
You hold him a while longer, letting him cry on you as you trace comforting circles with your fingers on his back. He is only five foot whereas you are nearing six, the height difference meaning you can easily embrace him.   
“Karkat…”  
“yeah” comes the muffled reply  
“You Need To Let Me Dress Your Wounds”  
He nods, and you pull away to get some cloth. Being in the storage room makes it easy; this is where you keep all of your extra cloth. You snag a roll of white cotton from the top shelf, and a needle and thread from the bottom. Karkat glides over to you and you take your time dabbing at his split lip. The cut is much more severe than you thought at first, blood clots at the bottom of it, and you can tell that you won't be able to just clean it and leave it be.  
You hoped that it wouldn't have to come to this, but you need to give him stitches. You thread the needle with black thread and bring it up to his mouth.  
“This Is Going To Hurt…”  
He just nods again, not in the talkative mood which was a surprise. Karkat was usually full of words, most at them at a loud volume with an angry undertone.   
You try to be as gently as possible, but its not easy. Karkats eyes are already watery and you can tell he’s trying to be strong.   
When you’re finished you get some green goo that Porrim had made to act as disinfectant and you coat it onto his lip as well as some of the other scratches.   
“There You Go, All Better”   
You try your luck and dare to kiss him on the forehead.  
“ew kanaya stop that” He paps you away from his face, and you smile. You know that means he’s feeling better, if only just a bit. 

 

===> Be Rose wearing a ridiculous hat

The hat that Jade forced on your head is a ridiculous shade of magenta. On top of that it is decorated in a hideous plaid pattern and has studs decorating its rim. You hope in your heart of hearts that no one would actually buy this ugly hat.   
“HA!!! Rose! you look...fantastic!” Jade is doubled over with laughter. At the other shelf Dave tries on a hat with SWAG written on the front, and john adorns a large flowery church hat with fake pink geraniums.  
“Lets take a selfie”  
“Hehe okay!”  
“Quick smile and say #selfie”  
“Hashtag selfieeeeeee”  
 _click_

“Ooh! ooh! Dave i want one too!”  
 _click_  
“Rose!!! say cheese!” Jade calls. You turn around and make the most ridiculous face that you can muster up.  
 _click_  
They move on to new hats, and new poses.  
 _click_  
 _click_  
 _click_

You take your fedora off and place it back on the rack and get a large brimmed black hat off of the neighboring shelf. Unlike the idiots around you trying on hats for irony and taking selfies with their tongues lolling out of their mouths, you actually want to buy a hat.   
It makes sense that you would want to have a sun hat. after all, you do spend an awful lot of time outside in the sun, and sunscreen will only do so much to protect your pale skin. The sun hat you hold is has a floppy rim that is so large it would without a doubt cast a lovely shadow on your face. You set it on your head and look at the mirror.  
 _Lovely._  
Not thinking a second thought, you stride up to the lady standing at the check out counter and buy it. 

 

===> Be the overworked, tired, and stressed mermaid

You spend the rest of the day sewing, and talking to customers. Karkat stays in your back room, reading human romance stories and raiding your food. Occasionally you stop by to check in on him, but mostly you stay in the outermost part of your stall, sewing on a mannequin when people aren't avidly placing orders, or browsing what you already have made.   
The piece that you are working on at the moment is an intricate piece for none other than the princess herself. Feferi had it special ordered, with no other instruction than to “do what you want, i'm shore it’ll be fin-tastic”   
You like that she leaves you a lot of room for creative input, and you’re even happier that she trusts what you are doing.   
And so here you are. Pins held between your teeth as you sew the last of the gems onto the top. Its a black wrapped top, with small pink beads sewn onto it. You have already embroidered her family crest on it in magenta. Right as you begin to attach the last pink sequin, someone taps your shoulder.   
You look up hastily, afraid that you had become so engrossed in your work that you hadn't noticed a customer standing there, but its only vriska.  
“Hey there Kan! whatcha up to?”  
You take the pins out of your mouth and smile at her, continuing to work.   
“I’m Sewing A Top”  
“Yeah well i got thaaaaaaaat, I was just trying to start up a conversation dum8y”  
“You Could Always Just Say Hello You Know, You Don't Need An Excuse To Talk To Me”  
“Well anyways! i was just wondering if you wanted to come raid ships with me and tavros today! my stocks getting a bit low” She gestures over to the stall adjacent to yours where she sells the knick knacks that she finds in the pirate ships.   
“I Can’t Today, I’ve Been Gone All Morning So I Really Must Stay Here And Work”  
Vriska narrows her eyes suspiciously, and you know you should have kept quiet.  
“Where were you all morning?”  
“I Was… Out.” you try to hide your emotions, but your poker face has never been that good. She immediately calls your bluff.  
“Whats with the happy glow fussyfangs? did something happen that you didn't tell me about?”  
You scratch your head and divert your gaze  
 _play it off kanaya, play it off_  
“Wh-What? No Nothing Happened Today…”  
She catches your wrist, and you realize you are still wearing the humans bracelet.   
“Then what is this? huuuuuuuuh?”  
“It’s Just A Bracelet Vriska”  
“Who gave it to you?” she pauses “OH MY GOOOOOOOOG! Did you get courted? did someone give this to you????????”  
Now your face heats up.  
“It...It’s not, Like That...We Aren’t Like That...”  
“So there is someone? Oh my gog i knew it!!!!!!!! Who is it?”  
You can't tell her about the human, shes your secret. So you decide to lie.  
“Its No One… She And I Barely Know Each Other”  
“Well she must know you pretty well to give you something like this! Oh my god its as 8ig as the bracelets that the queen wear, I have to know who it is Kan!!!!”  
“Seriously Vriska Its Nothing”  
“please please please please please please please please”  
“It’s Nothing…”  
“come one 8ro! you can totally tell me! I’m your 8est 8ud aren't i?”  
“Really Vriska I Can’t Tell You”  
“Why noooooooot! Come on please Kanaya, you know it’ll 8other me if i don't know!”  
“Vriska…”  
“You have to tell me!!!!!!!!”  
“I Said No…”  
She continues to pester you about it until you finally snap.   
“I Told You NO!” Your gills flare open and you snarl at her.   
Vriska looks hurt for a split instance, but it quickly turns into anger and she huffs at you.  
“Fine then fussyfangs. Don't tell me.”  
She turns around angrily and bolts away, pushing people aside.   
You exhale loudly but don't follow after her. While she’s in such a state, there is no use in trying to talk to her. Its usually best to give her a day or two, she always came back. 

 

===> Be the girl shopping in Kay Jewelers

Everything in this store is overpriced.  
So far you’ve already bought a silver chain, and at the moment you are looking for a pendant that you can put the pearl in. All of the things you’ve seen so far are either too gaudy, or too expensive. Money isn't much of an issue for you, after all your mother is filthy rich, but you really don't feel like spending all the money in your purse on something today.   
John and Dave had opted to wait outside, while you and Jade look through the platinum framed glass panes.   
“Howwwww about…. this one!” Jade points at a pendant with obnoxiously huge diamonds stuck onto it.   
“No, i think i'm going for a more subtle look” You reply.   
“Subtle?” The man behind the counter seems to pop out of nowhere.  
“Yes” you retort “Something simple and elegant”  
He nods and unlocks the viewing cabinet with a key attached to a bright blue lanyard. drawing something out from the depths of the rows of delicate silver pendants, he hands something to you.   
“Something perhaps, like this?”  
The man seems to have known what you wanted the entire time.   
Its simple, but elaborate at the same time. It looks like a teardrop, and you love it. Small diamonds are pushed into the top, but it doesn't seem gaudy and over done like the others had been.  
“Well Rose? do you like it?” Jade peers at you from behind her big circular glasses, looking hopeful.  
“Yes i do actually” you look at the salesman “I’ll take it’  
“And would you like to buy a pearl as well?”  
“Oh, i already have one” You retrieve it from your purse and hand it to him.   
He nods again and goes behind the counter to put it together.   
As you wait for him you and Jade talk. Your topics range from the newest episode of Criminal minds, to food and boys. But mostly you discus school, something you don't look forward to starting. It’s your senior year,and unlike everyone else you don't want to think about your future, or what you’ll have to do when you ‘grow up’. In your mind you are still a child, but time has seemed to have caught up to you.  
Jade on the other hand is excited.  
“Gosh i can't believe we are going to senior prom this year Rose!”   
“Me neither”   
“Awwwww what's the matter! dont you want to go? i mean it is prom after all’  
“I just dont think its really my scene…”  
“But its prom!”  
You dont want to think about it. You dont want to think about anything remotely related to school.  
“I’ll probably go anyway, its not like you would let me get out of it anyway” _That ought to pacify her_ you think.   
It does, and she moves away from the subject to blabber about something else. Before you can get too involved in the conversation, you are interrupted by the salesclerk again.  
“Madame, will you be wearing this necklace out”  
“Yes sir”  
He hands you the necklace and you let Jade clasp it around your neck. The pearl settles around your neck with a comforting weight.  
 _It’s so beautiful…_  
You walk out of the store with both your heart and your wallet feeling a lot lighter.


	4. Chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I wont update as late as I did this week ever again *crosses fingers*

===> Be Rose

It's six thirty when you finally get home.  
Your car wheezes as it pulls into your four car driveway. Regrettably you are home, and it's now time to face your mother.  
You grab the your shopping bags and purse from their resting place on the passengers seat and open the car door.  
Your wedges make a click-clack sound on the polished marble of your entryway.  
"Mother...? Are you home?" It's a rhetorical question, you had seen her car in the garage. In actuality you are checking if she is conscious.  
"Mom?" You still don't get a response. You set your bags on the counter, pull your shoes off, and quietly pad into the living room.  
She's exactly where you found her this morning; passed out on the couch.  
You sigh.  
Once again you make your rounds, picking up glasses, the vodka bottle making it's way back into the fridge, and a blanket tucked snugly around her shoulders.  
Just as you are about to walk away from the couch, your mother reaches out and grabs your arm.  
"...Rosey? Is that you..." Her eyes are only open a slit, pink irises shining out at you, hazy with alcohol.  
Panic pumps through your system.  
 _Run, run, pull away rose, you don't owe her anything, go, run, before she hurts you_  
The small remainder of you that desires to have a relationship with her takes pity on her.  
"Yes mother it's me." _What are you doing, run, move_  
"Ba-baby I'm s-s-so sorry ab-bu-bout earlier" _no you aren't no you aren't you liar_  
"It's okay" _no it's not stop it, what are you saying_  
"I- I promise I'll stop drinking honey. I promise I p-p-promise baby I will" _you've said that the time before, and the time before, and the time before_  
You don't say anything. _Strongstrongstrong I have to be strong_  
"Rosey baby please forgive me, tell me you forgive me, Rosey Rosey honey please"  
tears stream down her face while she blathers on and you still can't speak.  
"Ho-hone-honey I p-p-promise" _no you don't, I'm not going to listen to you._ she clutches your arm like a life line.  
 _Run, run, go, move, run, get out of here, she's going to hurt me, run, go_  
You can't respond. You just sit, paralyzed watching your mother breakdown in front of you. Like before, you can't move, and you can't breathe, but now it's not out of fear.  
"Yes mom, I forgive you" _no I don't, why am I saying that_  
"Th-t-tha-thank you honey" _liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar_  
Her hand goes slack and she closes her eyes. You know that is her way of telling you that you can go.  
Finally after a painful few seconds, your legs remember that you can walk, and you stand up. Again, you tuck the covers under her sides, and tilt her head to the left.

_I hate this, I hate you mom_

You grab your bags from the counter and walk upstairs. Already the walls of your house seem crushing, and the space surrounding you decreases in miles.  
You have to get outside.  
You crave the sea breeze and smell of the ocean,.  
Your bathing suit is where you had haphazardly cast it onto the fan this morning. You slide on the top and bottom and grab your tote bag. Since it's already night there is no need for sunscreen or sunglasses, so you leave them there.  
Just as you are about to step out of the door a rumble from your stomach reminds you that besides an orange, and a few fries, you haven't eaten all day. With all the activities happening around you, it's easy to accept that such a thing happened. Usually there are leftovers, but today the fridge downstairs yields no food.  
Deciding dinner was never one of your favorite things to do; you were always indecisive. You could always order Chinese food, but the resultant that delivered was rumored to have rats in the kitchen. There was also the option of pizza, any other kind of Italian food, and instant ramen. Chinese...pizza...ramen...Chinese..........pizza..............ramen....  
You decide on pizza.  
 _Briiiiiiiiiiiing briiiiiiiiiiiiiiing briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing_  
"Hello this is Jimmy's sperm packaging inc. you jack it we pack it, how may I help you?"  
He must have recognized your number on the caller id.  
"I didn't know you were working tonight David"  
"Don't call me David-and yeah, I decided I was gonna come into night, you know how these thirsty ladies are rose- they can't bear one day without seeing my lovely fa-"  
You cut him off.  
"Are you going to take my order now?"  
"Yeah yeah sure, what do you want to dine upon most valued customer"  
 _Oh David_  
"I'll have a meat lovers pizza, and some garlic breadsticks with extra sauce"  
"Okay so that's one dick lovers pizza and extra sticks with "sauce", do you want me to beat your meat before I put it on the pizza?"  
"Absolutely. I've never had an authentic gay man beat my meat before. Will it come with extra rainbows?"  
"And extra sparkl- oh shit my manager is glaring at me- and will that be all for tonight miss?"  
"One more thing"  
"Ugh what do you want rose, I've got a job to do, minimum wage to earn, and a life to not get on with--make it quick"  
"Send your cutest delivery girl" and then you hang up.  
While you wait for your meal you pick up one of the many books you have laying around the house. The closest one to you is Psychology 101: how to dissect peoples inner thoughts by Alexis Singh. You've read it before, hundreds of times in fact if you're being honest with yourself. So once again, you flip through the crumpled and dog-eared pages, reading the words and looking at the stains of coffee and other various drinks that had accumulated over the years.  
It takes a million years for the pizza to actually arrive. When you open the door you are pleasantly surprised that Dave did indeed send the cutest pizza delivery girl; himself.  
"Hello, I see you followed my request"  
"Hey sexy, I was told I needed to bring this pizza to the prettiest boy in Florida~~~" Dave batts his eyelashes and shifts from foot to foot in what you think is supposed to be an imitation of a girl.  
You laugh.  
"Good job David, I see that Dirk has taught you well in the fine arts of being feminine"  
"I told you not to call me David- and yeah, the old man did a pretty good job of raising me look at these handsome manly looks"  
"Girly" you correct  
"Ha ha yeah sure whatever sis, but still he did I alright"  
"By pretty good job do you mean throwing pornographic puppets at you while video taping it?"  
"Is there any other way to raise a kid?"  
You smile in return, glad for the friendly banter.  
"Hey bro can you give me a tip? Service like this doesn't come for free you know."  
You count out the money for the pizza, and give him a 10 cent tip.  
"Buy yourself something nice Davey, and don't spend it all in one place." You say as you drop the dime into his hand.  
Dave hands you your pizza and breadsticks and then flicks you off.  
The door doesn't swing shut until you see him get into his car, and speed away down the road.

_Ah, food at last_

You lay the pizza box, open it, and pluck out two pieces of pizza. They are practically dripping with grease, cheese melting over the sides, with perfectly cooked meat decorating the surface. You slide the pieces onto a plate, grab 3 breadsticks and grab an orange from the fruit bowl. You go to the fridge and open the stainless steel doors to get a drink. There is milk, orange juice, vodka (of course) beer (no surprise there) and lemonade. You decide on the last option.  
Now that all your food is acquired you can finally go outside to eat.

The sand is cold beneath your feet as you walk. It's still light outside due to the sun usually not bothering to set until 7 or 8 o'clock each night. nonetheless you still carry a lantern in your left hand, in case you decide to stay out.  
As soon as you step onto the rock, you notice that there appears to be a note left on the edge of the rock. With excited hands you pick it up. The hand writing is sloppy cursive, and for some odd reason every single word is capitalized.  
"Hello Rose My Name Is Kanaya Maryam..."  
Kanaya...  
You puzzle over whether it's a boys name or a girls name. It really could be either, but judging from the sloppy cursive it is probably a girl. A girl who capitalizes all her words and leaves you gifts, whose situation is "complicated." You wonder what she meant when she said "complicated." Surely her situation couldn't be that bad that she can't even talk to you. And what did "situation" even mean. Did it mean she was just terribly shy? Or maybe just anti-social?

Surely there has to be some way you could meet her, even if it involves trickery it would be worth it in the end....

You begin to hatch a plan.

 

===> Be Kanaya Maryam

It’s a miracle that you could get up out of bed today.  
By the time you retired to you and Porrim’s shared shelter last night you were almost dead on your tail. exploring all morning and working all night had taken its promised toll and so the minute you relaxed onto your bed, you were fast asleep.  
But the morning came much earlier than you had hoped.  
You get up and throw on a top and head out of the door. You make sure to make sure that the cloth that covers the entrance doesn't let in any light. The only thing worse than pissy Porrim, was Porrim that got woken up too early. As you lazily drift your way to the dining hall your head throbs with the imminent promise of a headache to come later.

Since everyone in the clan had a specific function (save for a few unlucky people), everyone dined together in a large area. That was the nice thing about having a clan. If you did your part, you didn't have to worry about things like providing food for yourself. Of course there are specialty chefs that have stalls in the marketplace that have things that aren't necessarily served in the mess hall.  
You grab a plate and begin piling it high with food. Several different kinds of plants farmed by your local growers, and a cooked mackerel make it onto the smooth porcelain surface.  
Your friends have already found a table in the middle of the hall, and sit talking loudly over one another. Even Feferi and Eridan came down from the palace to eat breakfast. Vriska is crammed next to tavros, and her arm is slung over his tan shoulder. You pretend that seeing them like that doesn't sting you as much as it does. Just the sight of them sitting like that makes your stomach churn.  
You sit down next to Karkat and begin to eat your food in silence. The rest of your friends talk around you, no one seeming to notice that you are even there except for Karkat.  
He pokes you with his fork.  
“Hey Kan”  
“Hello Karkat”  
“What's up with you? You look sad as fuck"  
"It's Nothing. I'm Fine"  
He gives you a look that says "no you aren't" but he doesn't say anything else. You begin to hurriedly wolf your food down, despite your stomach ache.

_The sooner i finish, the sooner I can leave_

"Soooooooo guys! Did Kanaya tell you? She's got a suitor! Look at that fancy ass bracelet she's wearing" Vriska crows from her end of the table.  
All at once the table erupts into a clamor of cheering. Equius gives you a hearty slap on the back(which hurt), Nepeta starts to pester you with all sorts of questions so she can add you to her shipping wall, and even karkat looks interested. Everyone begins to talk at once.  
"-what do they look like?"  
"Do wwe knoww them?"  
"Ii2 iit a boy or a giirl?"  
")(av---E you known t)(---Em long???"  
"Are you going to say yes?"  
12 pairs of colorful eyes are focused on you, 12 mouths bombard you with questions, 12 ears eagerly await your answer, and you feel like puking. amidst it all, one Vriska Serket sits, arms crossed, looking awfully pleased with herself. You get up abruptly, almost knocking your food over in the process.  
The table falls quiet in less than a second.  
You glare at Vriska "I Need A Word With You. Now."  
"Jeez fine fussyfangs I'll 8e there in a second, there's no need to get upset." Vriska puts her hands up in mock surrender.  
You feel like screaming at her.  
"Ooooooooooh lovvers spat" Eridan cat calls as you swim away. Fefferi hits him, gives him a warning look, and Eridans mouth snaps shut.

"Now. Vriska."

Vriska takes her time getting to you, and so when she finally does come, you are ready to explode.  
"Why do you look so pissed Kan. What did I do?"  
She's feigning innocence.  
"So You Really Don't Recall Announcing To All My Friends That I Was Courted, When I Already Told You I Wasn't?"  
"That's what you're mad a8out??? I thought you would 8e happy that I told them!"  
"Told Them What Vriska! I Already Explained to you that I was not courted by anyone!"  
"Then why won't you tell me who gave you that 8raclet?"  
"Because... Because... It Is Complicated Vriska!" You bury your face in your hands.  
"Complicated how! There is nooooooooo fucking way that it can be so 8ad that you can't even tell me!"

 _The girl who gave it to me is a human, you idiot_ you think to yourself. How were you supposed to tell her that you had been communicating with your species biggest threat.

"It Just Is Vriska, Let It Go Please."  
"No actually I won't let it go! I want to know who gave you that 8racelet, and I want to know where you always disappear to everyday and I'm not going to stop trying!!!!!!!!"  
"Vriska Please..."  
"8ecause you shouldn't be hiding things from me!"  
"I'm Not Hiding Anything..."  
"Yes you are! Why don't you admit it already and stop lying to yourself already!!!"  
"Can You Just Please Let It Go Already. No One Is Courting Me. I Am Not Hiding Anything From You. End Of Discussion. Can We Please Just Get Back To Breakfast"  
She sighs exasperatedly at you.  
"Fine Kan, but I won't forget about this, you will tell me one way or another."  
Her face relaxes, and you know that is your sign that she isn't mad anymore. You sigh and swim back to your group of friends.  
When you get back no one asks you about your "suitor" and you are thankful for that.

 

===> be the woman with a plan

Your name is Rose lalonde, and you think yourself somewhat of a genius. Well, not genius per se, but rather someone who thinks in an educated manner. Last night, as you ate your cheesy pizza on your rock, a thought hit you. If you could catch the person who was leaving you things, in the act of leaving you something, you would finally get to meet them. Because if you trap them like that they won't be able to back out of the situation, or tell you that it hadn't been them in the first place.

Absolutely. Clever.

 

 

===> be Kanaya at 9:45am

After your plate is cleaned, you excuse yourself (much to everyone's protest) and swim out of the mess hall. As you leave Vriska raises her eyebrows as if to say "if you aren't hiding anything, then why are you leaving" but you ignore her. You have a full day of work ahead of you, and if you want to see your human, now is the only time that you can go.  
You swim down your usual path with a song in your heart, and a dumb smile plastered on your face. Maybe it was everyone teasing you about being courted that has you excited, or maybe there was just something in the water, but you cannot wait to see Rose. You make a few loop-de-loops in the water as you swim, as ridiculous as that was.

Before you know it, you are almost near the shore. You take half a second to make sure if Rose is awake, and sure enough she is not. You wonder what it is with these weird humans who sleep all the time.  
You swim closer until you are right at the base of the rock, looking up through the waves that gently lap at its edge.  
There is a note for you.  
Your heart almost misses a beat and you ease your head and shoulders out of the water and pick it up with your thumb and forefinger and unfold it.

The message only reads two words; _I'm sorry_

You look up at the human.

 

She's awake.


	5. Chapter five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, the newest chapter was late >.

===> Be the frightened mermaid

Rose is awake.  
Oh god.  
She's awake. 

Your head whips around and as you are about to swim away, she speaks. You need to leave, you know you do, but her voice halts you in your tracks.

"Please don't go"

It is the first time you have heard her speak. Her voice is exactly how you pictured it,soft and melodious, almost like liquid velvet. Your gut tells you that this is a bad idea, but you turn around anyway.  
"I Can't Stay Rose" your English is halting and you are painfully aware of your accent. 

Back in the village you see used to just speaking mermaidic, a language much like Latin. In grade school you had briefly studied English from a few of the mermaids that still knew the “dead” language, but even then you had never been too good. So now you feel absolutely mortified about how you speak. 

"Why can't you stay?" Rose asks, her head tilts to the left inquisitively.  
Judging by the place where she lies, she must not have noticed your tail yet. You want to keep it that way so you swing your flashing emerald tail so that its scales are out of veiw. 

Rose still waits patiently for an explanation.

"I...It's Complicated..." That seems to be the phrase of the day for you.  
You prepare to duck under and make a run for it but then she speaks again.  
"So are you Kanaya?"  
"I...Uh...Yes I Am..."  
"Well then I'm so glad to finally meet you!" She smiles warmly at you and you can't help but to smile hesitantly back.  
"It Is A Pleasure To Meet You As Well" you remember that you have to leave "But I Really Must Go Now..." 

You hate it that you have to leave, and you hate it that you can't talk longer, but most of all you hate your tail. 

"Wait!" The human calls out to you, desperate to hold you there for a minute longer. As a last ditch efforts she sits partially up and leans to pecks your cheek with her lips. They are hot against your cold cheek, and leave a black smudge.  
Rose pauses a moment whispering "Thank you for everything" as she pulls away. 

And then she see's it. Green and glistening under the clear water; your tail.

Rose's disposition changes from hazy happiness to one of cold stone. Her proverbial wall is up, you can see it in her eyes.  
"Listen Rose I Can Explain"  
Her lips don't move. She is silent, calculating. The marble wall is up.  
The silence hangs thick in the air, like a dense fog. The warm happy feeling melts away to be replaced by uneasy edginess.  
Finally she speaks.  
"Did she put you up to this." Rose's voice is low.  
"What? No One Put Me Up To Anything. I Don't Know What You Are Talking About Rose, Believe Me"  
"Ha. That's rich. So how much did she pay you?"  
"Who Paid Me What?"  
"My mother. This is one of her games isn't it. Get me to believe I had someone out there and then take it away. Typical her."  
Your heart sinks down into your gut. She must think this is her mother’s fault. You imagined her to be many things, but never a skeptic.  
Rose peers at your tail again "I must say that your tail is well made, so kudos to her"  
“This Is My Real Tail”  
“If silicone can be considered real” she shoots back  
“Believe Me Please!”  
“What, you think that I haven’t seen this before? I know that mermaids are only humans dressed up that exist in aquariums” "Rose I'm Real"  
"And you are still sticking to your act. Wow she really picks her actresses well."  
"Rose..."  
"Because obviously being an incoherent drunk wasn't enough, she had to play my feelings along with it."  
“Please…”  
“I think the worst thing is that she actually got me to believe this”  
“…”  
“This is sick, you are sick” Rose begins to shove things into her bag angrily.  
“Why Aren’t You Listening To Me? I Don’t Understand!?”  
“Why would I listen to anything you say, you’ve done nothing but lie to me”  
“I Haven’t Lied To You, I Would Never Do That”  
“And you are STILL sticking to your act”  
"Trust Me Rose I Would Never Do Anything To Hurt You..."  
She blanches.  
"Did she tell you to say that?"  
"Rose Please" tears are pricking your eyes, and you fumble to grab the hem of her throw, in an attempt to elongate her stay a little longer. This is not how you wanted your first meeting to go.  
Her head lowers in a defeated gesture "For half of my life I believed that there was someone out there who cared..." Rose mumbles, more to herself than to you.  
"I Do Care For You."  
"No you don't, you are just spitting out the words she crammed down your throat" 

Her words sting you.  
You need to prove to her that you're real, that you aren't some human that her mother paid to trick her.  
There is only one thing you can do.  
"Look At Me"  
She raises her eyes to meet yours.  
You grab her hand to hold it in place on your cheek.

"I'm Real Rose" 

And then you light up. You flare your gills, you move your tail, you smile a monsters smile that's full of glinting sharp teeth, you try anything that could get her to believe.

Rose is speechless.

 _Great Kanaya, now you've blown it_  
But she doesn't scream.  
She doesn't run.  
She doesn't do anything but sit, and stare at you, analyzing you with her unbroken gaze.  
And you stare back, unable to look away.

You feel as if she's looking not at you but _into_ you. Past your surface at your soul. You feel as if she can see everything. 

Your hand falls noiselessly away, and your previous stomach ache from this morning is back in a churning mess. You've crossed your boundaries, you need to leave.  
Just as you are about to swim away, she grabs your face.  
Rose's hands are warm, almost burning. Her fingers trace over the spots of light that decorate your countenance in white. They dance over lips, your cheek bones, your chin, memorizing their paths she is afraid she won't remember.  
"Beautiful..." She says, almost in a daze. Rose winds your hair in her hands, testing the texture. Her fingers ghost down to caress your gills, and then back up to examine your face again as she explores every inch available to her.

And you let her.

It's uncomfortable for you. You feel exposed, like a dissected frog laying open on a tray for all to stare at. Her gaze burns you, but you don't dare move.

Rose touches your fins, rubbing the membrane experimentally and you let out a small yelping noise before turning beet red.  
"Sorry"  
"I'm Fine, Please Do Continue."  
But the magic is broken, and she pulls away, her face holding the wonder of a child.  
"Are You Alright?"  
"Yes yes I'm fine, I just...your real aren't you"  
"As Far As I Have Checked, Yes"  
Rose sits back on her knees.  
"Wow."  
Another awkward science hangs delicately in the air.  
"This is utter nonsense, you can't exist"  
"Why not?"  
"Because it's just not scientifically possible. You're a myth, a fairy tale, something parents tell stories of to lull children to sleep at night. You can’t be real, and so therefore this cannot be happening."  
"What's A Fairy Tale?" You ask, unfamiliar of the term.  
This snaps her out of her state of shock, and into another one. Her painted black lips gape in incredulity.  
"You don't know what a fairy tale is?"  
"I'm A Mermaid Rose, I Don't Particularly Know Anything About Human Culture"  
"But you speak English" she challenges  
"An Elder In The Colony Knew It"  
"And you don't know anything else remotely human?"  
"Not In The Slightest"  
"So you truly don't know what a fairy tale is?  
"No, But Feel Free To Explain"  
Rose puzzles over how to do so before explaining.  
"Well it's like a story; you know what a story is right?"  
You let an exasperated sigh past your lips. "If It Pertains To Human Culture, You Ought To Assume That I Know Nothing Of It."  
She laughs at that, and her laughter is like tinkling bells.  
"I think it would be better if I showed you instead explained it." Digging around in her bag she produces a brown leather bound book.  
"You know what this is, right?"  
"I Am Not As Much Of A Dolt As You Think Rose, I Know It Is A Book" you roll your eyes  
"How do you know that if you live in the sea?" She has the skeptical look again and you rush to explain.  
"There Were A Few That Vriska And I Discovered When Exploring"  
"Exploring what?"  
"Pirate Ships, They Are Big Sunken Boats Filled With Odd Human Things"  
"I know what a ship is" she laughs again, and you find yourself laughing along with her.  
"Anyway, About What You Were Saying About Stories?"  
She flips through the pages until she finds a suitable spread to show you. One side of the book holds the picture of a small child in a red hood, and some sort of beast. The other side has wall of fine black text.  
Rose points at the text. "This is a story"  
"No Rose, Those Are Words" she thinks she can pull the proverbial wool over my eyes you think  
"But words make stories Kanaya, see look (she points) these words are telling the story of little red riding hood. Stories are series of events that happen that are retold to others"  
"Then What Is This?" You point at the depiction of the girl and beast  
"That's an illustration"  
"And Who Is That?" You point at the girl in red.  
"That is little red riding hood"  
"Doesn't She Have A Name?"  
"Little red riding hood is her name"  
You consider this for q moment before concluding "Humans Sure Are Peculiar"

You have no idea"

You continue talking, falling into the comfortable pattern of asking questions, and Rose answering them. Gradually you feel her wall coming down, bit by bit, stone by stone. She tells you about fairy tales and you tell her about pirate ships. Time slips away from the two of you, until the sun is three fourths of the way through its daily journey.  
The human looks at a circle attached to cloth on her wrist.  
"Oh my, it's getting late"  
"What's That?" You point to the device.  
"This is a watch"  
"What Does It Do?"  
"It’s used to tell time, see, look" she shows you the surface. Numbers are written in a circle, and 2 black sticks rotate around the center making small ticking noises.  
"What Time Is It?"  
Rose pauses, and then her lips quirk up into a smirk.  
"Time for you to get a watch" and then she laughs loudly at her own joke.  
"What? I Have No Means Of Acquiring A Watch"  
This only makes her double over in a renewed fit of giggles.  
"I Do Not Understand The Joke Rose? Why Are You Laughing?"  
With that, she completely looses it, wheezing, and hunching over in a shaking mess.  
"I- _gasp_ -it's not- _gasp_ even- _gasp_ \- that- _gasp_ funny- _SNORT_ "

Rose freezes, suddenly realizing what she had done, and now it's your turn to laugh. And your laughter provokes another round from her, until you are both breathless and your sides hurt. For the first time in forever you are laughing for no reason, and Rose is laughing with you. It's a beautiful sound, light and breathy and you love it. 

Your name is Kanaya Maryam, and you are glad you stayed to talk to Rose.

 

===> Be Rose Lalonde

Your mystery person is very different then you thought she would be, despite the fact she is a mythical creature. It was hard to believe at first, but you think your initial reaction was a normal one. What kind of human wouldn't automatically believe a mermaid was a hoax? But after she proved to you her existence, you find yourself enjoying her company, so much that you seem to have eat forgotten to eat anything all day. When your hysterics finally come to an end you decide to go inside to get some food.  
"Do you mind if I go inside for a minute?" You ask Kanaya  
"Not At All"  
You hesitate for a second before asking one last thing.  
"You won't leave will you?"  
"I Won't"

The air conditioning of your house hits you like a breeze of Antarctic wind as soon as you walk inside. It is a refreshing contrast to the hot summer air outside, and you are glad for it. The marble is also cold against your feet as you slip into the kitchen to look in the fridge.  
As always there is a severe lack of food in your fridge, save for last night’s pizza. You get a few slices, an orange, and some water. On second thought you go to get an extra orange and an extra piece of pizza incase Kanaya is hungry as well. 

 

===> Be Kanaya again

It's only been a few minutes since the human has been gone and you already are starting to feel a little lonely. The book of fairy tales still lies on the rock, its pages open and exposed to the sun. You dry your hands on the thing that Rose had called a towel, and pick up the book. You flip the pages until you see the picture with little red riding hood on it.  
You begin to read it, going slowly, but as fast as you can. Apparently however, your version of fast means that by the time you are done with the first few sentences, Rose is back.  
"Rose, Can You Read This For Me?" You ask, realizing that it would be much easier to listen to her then try to decipher it yourself.  
"Of course, but first have some lunch"  
Setting down the plate full of human food, she sits down and you hand her the book. In return you get an orange juice globe and some sort of droopy triangle with red stuff and white strings.  
Rose sees the puzzled look, and she explains what each thing is.  
"This is pizza" she points to the triangle, "and that is an orange"  
"Are They Safe To Eat?"  
"Of course, see?" She takes a bite out of her own piece, and surprisingly doesn't fall over and die as you expected. Hesitantly you take a nibble out of the corner of your "pizza" and after discovering its appealing taste, wolf the rest down. As you eat Rose flips to the beginning of the story you had opened up too, and she begins to read it.  
"Once, many many years ago, there was a little girl whom everyone called little red riding hood..."  
Having never heard anything like it, the story ensnares you. Before you know it, you are already emotionally invested in this red riding hood girl. You can almost imagine her in your mind the way that Rose describes her, flaming red hair, freckles, a bright red cape, and a basket full of pastries. You can see the wolf as well; long snout and course fur, evil glinting eyes, and you are amazed how a book with lines of words could show you such a thing. But it's not just the book, it is Rose as well. The soothing rise and fall of her voice, the way that she reads each character in a different voice is what truly brings it to life.

You are disappointed when it is over.

After Rose is done reading, and the dusty brown cover has been shut, she sets the book aside and goes to lay down on the rock. She lies in such a way that she is still facing you, her head propped up on the soft flesh of her elbow and forearm, and the other arm dangling so that she can trace circles in the clear ocean water with her finger. Rose's lavender eyes stare lazily at you, and in a soft tone, she voices a request.  
"Now you tell me a story"  
You want to tell her that you don't know any good ones, but you can't to that to Rose, so you decide to make one up.  
"Once There Was A Mermaid Girl Named...Uh..." You aren't off to a very good start.  
"Mary"  
"Sure, Anyway, There Once Was A Mermaid Named Mary, And She Lived In A Village With..."  
You continue your story, basing the plot off of the one time that you and Vriska almost got killed by a shark, and a bit about your clan life. You get so caught up in your story, that when you look at your humans face, she is fast asleep.

You hope it wasn't your story that did that. 

Weighing your options, you decide not to wake her up, and to just slip out of sight. It is probably for the best seeing that Vriska will begin to get suspicious if you are gone for any longer.

You turn from your dozing human, and swim away, thinking about girls with red hoods, and a certain girl with a black hat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ill make y'all a deal: if you can get me to 80 kudos, i will start taking any and all suggestions/headcannons and try to incorperate them into my story!
> 
> (also please dont judge me too hard on this chapter, i just thought that rose would react the way she did)


	6. Chapter six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm super duper glad to see that y'all got this to 80 kudos! so as promised, i will start taking suggestions in the comments section below :)  
> however, i am really sad to announce that this wont update until late next week, possibly friday if I'm lucky, and it may not be until saturday. I've got a convention this weekend (link to my cosplay==> http://shotathug.tumblr.com/tagged/quinnsface) and so i wont be getting much writing done :(  
> sorry bout that guys, but on the bright side at least you will get to see some of your ideas in chapter 7!!!

===>Be the human just waking up

Sunlight streams through your window with a gentle sea breeze wafting along with it. The smell of sea water permeates your room and you slowly open your eyes and blink lazily. You don't bother to move, your bed is too comfortable. The French black silk sheets that you charged on your mothers account always felt good in the morning. Partially because your spiteful nature knew they cost a lot of money and partially you're just lazy today. Usually you would be up and out of bed, rushing to get down to your rock, but today a placid feeling has overtaken you. Your room doesn't feel suffocating, the walls don't seem to close in, and in fact you actually feel happy for once.  
Huh.  
Happy.  
 _What's new notion_ you muse to yourself _happiness_.  
It must be the mermaid.  
A silly smile spreads across your face and you bury your face into your pillow. You are ashamed to admit that although you are usually quite composed, a small squeal of glee escapes you. Your inner teenage girl is dying, and your outer teenage girl is dying too. You think it must have just hit you that you met a real live mermaid! A real one!  
But then in the corners of your mind doubt began to creep in.  
Had you dreamed the whole thing? After all you had woken up and she had been gone, and you could have imagined it all...  
Regardless, dream or not, the whole experience had been amazing. You smile again, and roll over to look out of your window.  
Something ripples out in the ocean, and you sit up abruptly. You pretend you don't feel your stomach flutter as you think _Could it be her?_. Sadly, it's only a ripple in the ocean.  
You flop back down onto your sheets and pull out your phone to text Dave. If anyone can get your mind off Kanaya, it’s him.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has begun pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 08:40--  
TT: David  
TT: distract me.  
TG: its Dave, and you could say hello you know  
TG: instead of just barging in here  
TG: all "oh Distract me David"  
TG: I'm a helpless damsel in distress who can't occupy her self  
TG: I need your muscley swoll muscles to distract me from my boring life  
TT: I don't recall saying the majority of that  
TT: except perhaps the bit about the muscles  
TT: your muscles are quite swoll  
TT: all of those muscles that you don't have  
TG: I totally have muscles bro  
TG: Have you not seen these fantastic deltoids and uh  
TG: triceps  
TT: do you even know what a tricep is?  
TG: yeah  
TG: absolutely  
TG: they are the ones in your legs right?  
TT: you are 100% correct  
TG: see look!  
TG: I'm just as smart as I am swoll  
TT: I was being sarcastic David  
TT: the triceps are in your arms  
TG: oh  
TG: well shit  
TG: I done fucked up  
TT: no you did just fine  
TT: I was significantly distracted  
TT: but it seems I have no need to be anymore  
TT: I have to go  
TT: goodbye David  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --  
TG: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME DAVID  
TG: FADFEALJFHWEKWEJBGWEGLHADOJWDVBWROJGWEHWEOIBWDVJLSBDF  
TG: SDFAD  
TG: OIBBHOHIGYLKB  
TG: God damn it

You can see Kanaya outside now, looking around in a confused manner as if she expected you to already be there. After you get dressed, you open your window and poke your head out.  
"Kanaya!" You yell to get her attention.  
Her head whips around trying to locate you until at last her green eyes fall on your window. She lifts her tan hand in a wave.  
"I'll be right there!" You yell before closing your window and rushing down stairs. You briefly stop by the kitchen to get an orange (as is per usual) and your lap top.  
When you get to the rock, Kanaya is resting her head on her forearms in a lazy, dazed expression.  
"I didn't think you'd be back" you said as you sit down  
"Of Course I Am Back Rose, But I Am Afraid My Stay Here Will Be Briefer Than That Of Yesterday's"  
"Why?"  
"Well, Although I Am Just A Mermaid, I Do Have Work And A Job To Do"  
This is news to you  
"You work?"  
She rolls her eyes "Of Course I Work Rose, Tail Or Not I Have To Support Myself After All"  
"Huh" you puzzle over this before adding; "I just thought that mermaids were more free spirit kind of people, like in... Oh I don't know, like the little mermaid or something"  
"What's That?"  
Oh, you seem to have forgotten that she would have seen that  
"It's a... Well it's a human movie"  
"Movie?"  
"It's a story that's completely illustrations"  
"I'm Not Sure I Catch Your Proverbial Drift..."  
"i think its another 'easier to show than tell' sort of thing"  
You open your laptop and enter "megashare the little mermaid" into google. You figure that you can watch the whole movie through before Kanaya goes home. When you have it pulled up and ready to play, you strip off your shirt and shorts until you are just in your bathing suit, and then you slide into the water next to Kanaya. The water feels amazingly cool against your skin and you sigh; it had been a while since you had swum. Kanaya looks confused so you explain to her how you won't be able to watch the movie if you had stayed on the rock.  
"How Does One Watch The Movie?" She asks you  
"Just, hmmm, pay attention to the screen (you point at it) and listen to what the characters are saying"  
Kanaya nods at this, and you click the play button.

As soon as the opening credits start, her face lights up with childish delight  
"Rose This Is Astounding..."  
And then the music starts, a Caribbean beat with a red lobster singing along to it. Kanaya looks entranced by it.  
"What's That?" She asks in awe  
"What's what?"  
"That... Those Sounds That They Are Making"  
"Music"  
"Oh" she grows quiet again and doesn't speak for a long while. You find yourself watching her more then you watch the movie. You study her reactions, the way her eyebrows curve up when she hears Ariel sing about wanting to be human, the way she smiles at flounders antics. She also points out whom different characters are like.

"The Short Red Angry Lobster Fellow Is Karkat"  
"He Can Be Tavros" _she points at the flounder_  
"You Are The Prince" she says dreamily at one point.  
That startles you.  
"I can be who?"  
"The Prince, See Look He Is Human As Well"  
"Then who are you?" You reply  
"Ariel" she replies simply.

You smile and turn your attention back to the screen depicting a mermaid singing in a cavern.

 

===> be Vriska Serket

You name is Vriska Serket, and you are pissed as hell. Why? Well that answer is simple; Kanaya Maryam. For starters she is one of the most confusing people you have ever met in your entire life. For the longest time you've known that she has romantic leanings towards you, you can see it every single time she looks at you. You can see it when she offers you the last bits of her meal. You can see it when she goes out of her way to accompany you to go explore pirate ships. You can see it when she gets jealous. So it came as a surprise to you when out of the blue she started ignoring you. Not that it bothers you or anything like that, but you feel like someone or something is replacing you in her life. Now you only see her at morning meal, and late at night. She never explores with you, and barely ever talks to you anymore.  
Last night when she finally came home from wherever the hell she was, you tried to talk to her but she just waved you off. Not only did she just answer with "I Am Tired Vriska, Please Go Away" but when you persisted in your attempts to make conversation you could tell she was thinking about something else. She had this far off look in her eyes, and no matter what you tried, you couldn't shake it from her.  
In past times she was always the one seeking you out, pressing for conversation, inviting herself places with you even when you didn't want it. But now it seems like your roles have been reversed. Something had happened over the last week that made you the needy one, and her the independent one.  
You may never admit it to her, but you really did miss having her around. Sure, Tavros was great company, but he was always too much of a pushover. Anything you ask for, he provides, without even blinking an eye. At least with Kanaya you could have a decent argument. But having an argument would require her actually being around you for longer than a few minutes.  
You decide that you will give her one last chance to fix things with you, and tell you where she goes during the day, or you are going to find out yourself.

 

===>be Kanaya Maryam watching a movie

You love it. You absolutely love the little mermaid. For starters, there is the thing called music. It's nothing but words said at different patterns of pitches, with other things playing other pitches in the background, but you seem to love it. From the first song, you are captured by its appealing nature. You know for one thing that music is something that you want in your life and you make a mental note to ask rose to show you more music tomorrow.

Sadly, the last notes are trilling as the ending credits role, and you are disappointed it's over. Rose gets out of the water, dries off her hands, and exits out of the "browser" that the movie is in.  
It takes you a few minutes to regain your speech, and when you do, you aren't quite sure what to say. Words can't really describe the feeling that you feel. It flutters around like a bird in a cage, beating its wings furiously at your rib cage. So instead of speaking and failing, you stay quiet.

It takes a long time before rose finally breaks the silence.  
"So, did you like the movie?"  
"I...Uh...Yes" and that's all you can get out at the moment. Rose doesn't say anymore, she just kind of smiles out at the ocean with a dreamy smile.

"Would you ever leave the ocean Kanaya?"  
"Maybe, I Wish I Could Sometimes"  
"I would never leave if I were you"  
"And Why Is That?"  
"Because this world isn't everything it's made up to be"  
"Oh"

That night as you swim home, you think about what she said.

 

===> Be the nostalgic human

Watching the little mermaid brought back all different kinds of nostalgia. After Kanaya leaves, you remain sitting on your rock, thinking about when you first watched that movie.

It had been a Saturday in the summer, back when you were 12 years old. You remember it so well because that was one of the last good times you had spent with your older sister Roxy. At the time, you hadn't wanted to watch the movie, declaring with the gusto of a middle schooler that "mermaids were for little kids" and that you were "grown up now." But no matter how much you protested, you still ended up on the couch sandwiched between Roxy and Dave.  
You always had found it weird that Roxy continued to watch little kids movies, even though she was 18. You had deduced that (with what your twelve year old mind thought was great logic)that the older Roxy got, the more childlike she got. You had noticed that when she was 16, the polka dot pajamas that she claimed were "too childish" a year ago were suddenly her favorite thing again. "Little kid movies" was the only thing she wanted to watch. And she even had dared far enough to devolve into acting ridiculous almost all the time. You had concluded that this sudden change was because she was afraid of growing up. You see that change in yourself now.  
And so to humor your older sister on that Saturday,you sat on a couch, watching a Disney movie. Dave was to your left with a large bowl of popcorn, which he chewed loudly in your ear. Roxy was curled up in a knitted pink blanket with a mug of hot coco cradled in her hand, despite the fact it was almost a hundred degrees outside. All and all it was a scene you had grown to be familiar with.  
Roxy switched on the tv and the beginning of the movie began to play. Needless to say, you hated it. You hated every god damn minute of singing and dancing. It was stupid, and childish, and everything that you were trying to grow away from. But when you looked over at Roxy, she had the same expression of childlike wonder that Kanaya had when you watched it today. She looked entranced, as if the movie held everything that she had ever wanted.  
When it was over and the credits were rolling, Roxy looked over at you.

"So Rosey didja like the movie?"  
 _No_ you thought, but you didn't tell her that.  
"It was alright"  
She nodded and turned back to look at the now black screen before voicing in a whisper; "do you ever want to just...just run away Rosey?"  
You didn't respond.  
"I would, I would run and run and never come back"  
And she did. 4 days later with a pink bag under her arm, and never called again.

 

===> Be Kanaya

When you get back to camp, Vriska is already waiting for you. Her blue eyes flash dangerously.  
"Where the hell have you 8een!?!"  
As soon as you swim into the camp you are assaulted with a full display of Serket anger. She rants, she raves, she yells; she turns almost blue in the face. "I have literally 8een w8ting for you all freaking day. You think it's easy for me to explore on my own? ARGH----you are SO inconsiderate!!!!!!!!"  
She keeps yelling at you, her voice gradually rising until it's at peak volume and people are looking at you. A few young mermaids tug their children closer to their sides; older mermaids just shoot disapproving glares at you.  
It's mortifying, and you feel heat rising in your cheeks.  
"Vriska Please, Calm Down, You're Making A Scene..."  
"I have had NO ONE to talk to except for Tavros! Where have you been!?!?!?!?"  
When in conflict with Vriska, it is usually best to avoid conflict, so you respond only with "I Was Doing Something"  
"And why won't you tell me what that something was?!"  
"I Don't Want To Talk About It" you try to swim away, but she grabs your arm and twirls you around until her face is mere centimeters away from yours.  
"What the hell is your problem Maryam? What are you so afraid of!?"  
You push her off of you.  
"I Told You, I Don't Want To Talk About It" you brush her off again, and begin to go back to your stall.  
"Don't swim away from me Kanaya!"  
You don't turn around.  
"Kanaya!!!!!!!!"  
Vriska always had the uncanny ability to ruin your day, no matter how good of a mood you were in before. You don’t want to talk about it. You don’t want to have to make up another lie. You don’t want to do anything but think about movies and music. So the fact that Vriska continually hollers your name behind you has begun to grate on your nerves.  
"Stop running away from me damn it!"  
Vriska bolts to you and grabs your shoulder, trying to turn you around. In a split second you feel your temper flare and you spin around and hiss in her face "Don't Fucking Touch Me Again"  
Her eyes darken with hurt, and she gapes at you. You're too pissed off to care, and so you flounce angrily away.

 

===> Be Vriska

You’ve never found Kanaya more appealing.


	7. Chapter seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tavros is literally the cutest. This is all i have to say.

===> Be Kanaya Maryam  
The next day you leave camp before anyone has woken up. The reason being that you have to steal something before you can go to roses. Normally, you would just ask to lend it, but you know deep down that you have no intention of returning it.  
The object of conquest? A book.  
It's an old book, surrounded by old magic that kept it from decaying under water. You remember it well, dusty cover, faded black ink, and words written in a language that no one could decipher. Several years ago you and Vriska had discovered it wedged under a moldy beam. After several hours of tugging and twisting, you finally got it wedged loose. Vriska had insisted at the time that she be the one to carry it, since she thought that it could be valuable and thus wanted to assume all credit for it. But when the clan enchanter yanked the book out of her hands and began to mumble about dark magic, she was quick to pass the blame of finding it onto you.  
Since then the old enchanter had died, and the book had been put into the safekeeping of none other than the official royal douchebag himself; eridan ampora. And now, you were going to steal it, right from under his upturned nose.  
Such a feat however, was not going to be one easily accomplished. It involved charming your way past some guards, stealthy swimming through out the royal hallways, sneaking into the princes room, and doing it all without getting caught. 

All in all, it shouldn't be too hard. 

You near the palace gates, just in time to see who is guarding it. Today it is two large buff mermen, with pitch black manes and scowling faces. You inwardly groan; today couldn't have been a worse day to try to steal something.  
You first try to just swim by without explanation.  
As predicted, they stop you.  
"You can't enter without a pass Ma'am" says the one on the right.  
The other guard grunts in agreement.  
 _Keep cool Kanaya_ your think to yourself.  
"I'm Here For A Clothing Delivery For The...Prince Ampora"  
The guards exchange glances, and this time it is the guard on the left that addresses you.  
"I'm sorry, but we are going to have to check in your bag to make sure you are doing what you said you are"  
 _Shit, lie damn it_  
"These Are Private Items Of The Princes, I'm Not Sure He Would Want You To Be Looking At His 'Private Orders',Would He?"  
You guess that it must be in the way you phrased it, but both guards turn red in the face.  
"N-n-no m-ma'am"  
"S-sure just go right on ahead ma'am"  
"Yes, please do" the other echos.  
You toss them each a smile and a polite "Thank You" as you breeze through the door. 

When inside, you stop to observe the main hallway. Even after the many times you've been in the palace, it still takes your breath away. Towering pink walls, golden doors, and so many pearls and jewels that it seems blinding at first glance. Thankfully, since you deliver clothes to the princess often, you know your way around the castle twisting hallways.  
Left.  
Left.  
Right.  
Left again.  
Right and down the hallway.  
And then you are at his door.  
It's a huge door, sleek black wood with his polished family symbol _two jagged purple lines_ engraved into its surface. You've only been inside once, to deliver some...clothes, for him. when he found you inside his room neatly placing his folded...clothes, in the drawer he turned bright red and had the guards toss you out. 

You had never been in his room again, until now. 

The doors swing open without a sound, and you slowly peek your head in. Eridan lies in his bed with one arm slung around....another person?  
Oh my.  
There is another person in his room. There are two people in his room.  
Not wanting to wake them, you blush and swim quietly inside. _Now if I was a self centered douche bag, where would I hide something_ you think as your eyes sweep the perimeter of the room. They land on a large black chest in the corner of the room. Its large and bulky and seems to scream "there are bad things locked in me!". Knowing Eridan, this is probably where he put it; in plain sight, in the most conspicuous place. You bend down to examine it, before spotting a small black lock holding the top and bottom of the chest together. It looks so small that you would be able to break it easily, but after tugging on the lid you realize that although it is small in stature, it holds well. The only way that you will be able to open it, is if you have a key, and that, that is no where to be found.  
You slowly move things around in the room, looking for any possible place that it might be. That is when you see the purple key that hangs around the chain on eridans neck.  
Great.  
This is just, fantastic.  
You drift over to where he sleeps and hover above his bed. You pretend that you don't recognize Sollux tucked under Eridan's arm, or the crown princess Feferi spooning him from behind. Honestly you never would have guessed that the three of them would pursue a polyamorus relationship, but given the way that they have been acting recently you suppose it makes sense.  
Unfortunately for you, the key you desire is resting near one of eridans two lovers.  
You grab hold of the clasp lightly and manage to wiggle it free. Now the actual retrieval of the key and removal of the chain is necessary. Centimeter by painful centimeter, you inch the chain away from his neck.  
Eridan moves just the slightest bit, and you stop in your tracks. His movement causes Sollux to open one brightly colored eye and look at you. Next to him, his royal blooded boyfriend begins to stir. 

Either your heart has stopped beating, or it is beating so fast that you cannot feel your pulse.

You try to show as much pleading in one look as you possibly can, and Sollux mischievously grins at you. You can tell by the way his mouth quirks up into a fangy smile that he is going to help you.  
However, you didn't know that his idea of helping you required disgusting amount of pda.  
Sollux grabs hold of eridans hair and yanks it backwards, exposing his neck and begins kissing down the smooth flesh.  
"Sol wwhat are you doing?" Eridan asks, and you feel yourself wondering the same question.  
“Dont open your eye2 babe” The dual eyed goblin glances at you and waves his hand in a "carry on" motion at you before biting eridans neck with his twin fangs. Eridan lets out a watery moan, but doesn't open his eyes. The whole display is disgusting to you, but provides just enough time to shimmy the chain the rest of the way out from underneath Eridan and bolt to the chest.  
You quickly unlock it, grab the book, and close the heavy lid.  
At this point lots of weird noises are emitting from the bed, and it seems that the future empress is awake as well.  
"Water you guys doing?" She asks, rubbing her eyes. Sollux cocks his head in your direction and Feferi’s face flutters through shock and confusion and then settles on compassion. You should have realized sooner that compassion in this case, meant her helping Sollux distract Eridan.  
The lock makes a satisfying click, and you hastily race to get out of the room. On your way out the door you toss the key to Feferi. She catches it with a grin and ties it around eridans neck without him even knowing. 

By the time the door is shut behind you, your face is all different kinds of splotchy embarrassed red. 

===> Be Rose 

When Kanaya arrives at the rock it is already 12. She is breathing heavily, and her face has turned an odd scarlet hue. Before you can inquire, she plops a heavy black book down on the rock. It's cover is a deep black leather, with iron designs pressed into its surface. The spine of the book is ribbed with different hues of purple lining it. Finally in the middle of the cover there is a metal insignia depicting that of 5 tentacles holding a goblet. The whole book seems to give off a dark aura and you find yourself feeling a bit uneasy.  
"What's this?"  
"It's A Present For You, A Sort Of Thank You For Everything So Far If I May Say So"  
"That's awfully nice kanaya" you say in a far off tone. Your thoughts are too encompassed by the book in front of you.  
Kanaya takes your silence as questioning and she explains about the book.  
"Well You See It's Called A Grimoire, Vriska And I Found It When We Were Looting A Ship When We Were Younger. It Is Written In Your Language So I Inferred That You Would Have More Use Of It Than Any Of Us Ever Could..."  
She continues to talk, her voice becoming a dull hum in the back of your mind. You can't focus on her. in fact you can't focus on anything but the book laying in front of you. Soft voices seem to flow out of its pages, whispering words so faint that you can't make out what they were saying. The symbol on the front draws in your attention, and although it may just be your imagination, you think you see the iron tentacles move. 

"Rose, Are You Even Listening?" Kanaya asks. Her voice breaks you out of your trance and you stumble to say "I...uh...yes I was listening, please continue"  
"So Anyway, Like I Was Saying..." After a brief disapproving glare, she continues on. This time you do pay attention, and try with all your might to ignore the odd black book and its whispering pages. It tugs on the corner of your mind, but you force yourself to focus on Kanaya and her current story.  
"And Then I Yelled, And She Yelled' And Now I Am In A Bit Of A Predicament You See." She says. You curse yourself internally for missing the beginning of the series of events, but Kanaya doesn't seem to notice that you weren't paying attention because she has already moved subjects.  
"But I Am Sure You Do Not Want To Hear Me Talk Your Ear Off About My Romantic Troubles All Day Long, How Are You?" She asks.  
"I'm not doing that well actually"  
Kanaya becomes instantly concerned, her eyebrows knotting up on her forehead in the very picture of worry.  
"What's Wrong Rose? Are You Alright? Is There Anything I Can Do?"  
You laugh. "Not if you can somehow stop our school legislation from starting school tomorrow."  
"School? What Is That?"  
"Hell. School is absolute and utter hell."  
"Hell?"  
"It's a place of torture truly. You sit in a desk all day long, taking notes on things like...oh I don't know, things like physics, things you won't ever need to know in the future. And there are teachers..."  
"Teachers?"  
"Grown ups with fancy degrees who think that they know everything. And they sit and tell you how to live, and what is what and if you don't obey them you get belittled and yelled at."  
"That Is Formidable Rose, Why Don't You Just Leave?"  
"Because if one quits school they are viewed as an outcast, as if by some measure they are less than everybody else. There might as well be bars on school windows because you never get out."  
"And It Starts Tomorrow?"  
"Sadly yes, so I'm afraid I won't be able to see you until 4 O'clock in the afternoon."  
Her faces falls. "When Will I Know When It Is Four-Oh-Clock?"  
Oh. You didn't think about that. After brief consideration you stand up, and run back to your house. "Stay right there! I'll be back!"  
You rush through the oak doors with a bang, and dash up to your room. Quickly, but careful not to make too much noise, you search in your desk drawer for something. It’s a mess of rubber bands, ink pens, flash cards, old jewelry, anything that you could ever view as junk is in that drawer. When you find it a grin lights up your face, and then you dash back down the stairs again. The oak doors slam again on your way out.

You come out of your house holding something bright and metallic in one hand. As you approaches the rock she asks, "What's That?"  
"It's a gift for you"  
"Rose You Really Don't Need To Do Th-"  
"I want to" you explain.  
She smiles her lopsided toothy smile- "Okay Then"  
"Hold out your wrist" You commands, and she does so. Around it you fastens a watch. It's strap looks braided, if braids could be made of silver and gold. The clock face is made of mother-of-pearl and is lined in gold as well. It's beautiful, it's expensive, and it's now hers.  
"So do you like it?".  
"I...Well...Yes I Do, It Is Quite Beautiful... Are You Sure You Want To Give It To Me?"  
"Yes, I'm sure"  
You don't regret a second of it. 

===> Be the other mermaid

After Kanaya yelled at you late night, you became confused. As soon as she snapped at you, something odd began to happen. Of course there was the brief flash of anger, but then something else bubbled up. Your chest began to heat up, your heart banged loudly against your rib cage, and you think your lungs might have forgotten how to work. It was almost as if seeing her so confident, like a pillar of strength had triggered something inside you.That night as you slept in your hammock, you became disgusted with yourself. You couldn't possibly like Kanaya maryam, that was absurd. She was your best friend, a coward, someone who you could never like in a million years. Not to mention the fact she was beneath you. if you were going to court anyone it wouldn't be her it would be someone worthy of your courtship, not your lonely and desperate best friend. You would never stoop that low, and she could never achieve your standards.  
But if that was the case, then why then did you feel so weird.  
Why was your heart fluttering every time you thought of her. Why did you keep glancing around as if expecting her to be there somehow. Why were you so obsessed with knowing where she was, and who she was with. Why did you suddenly care so much about God damn Kanaya Maryam.  
Stupid Kanaya with her short black hair, her striking tail, her perfect tan complexion,her piercing green eyes…

No. 

This is absolutely disgusting. You hate that you feel like this, and towards Kanaya of all people.

You have to get all of this, this pent up energy out. You have to prove to yourself that you are just confused and that this isn't real.

You have to find Tavros.

You locate the silver tailed mermaid over by the sweets stand near the mess hall. He's shelling out money from his wallet, and handing it to the vendor in exchange for a sugar stick. Without a word you swim over to him, grab his arm, and drag him away.  
"Vriska! Where are we goin-"  
Before he can get the last syllable out, you've pushed him up against the rock wall, kissing him feverishly. You pull away for a second to readjust yourself so that you can pin him better. That gives Tavros a window to ask "uh...what are you?"  
"Shut up Tavros" you hiss at him. With all the ferocity and passion of a shark, you kiss him again until your lips are swollen, and his lips have scratch marks from your teeth. Arms winding around your neck, lips on yours, he melts into you as a sign of submission.  
You continue to roughly kiss him, sliding your young between his parted lips, feeling every inch of his mouth available. 

It's rough, it's messy and amidst it all you feel nothing. 

Nothing at all. 

Not even the slightest hint of longing or want.  
Nothing but an aching void that wants someone else.  
With an exasperated growl you shove Tavros away from you. His reels away from you and falls back with a thump against the wall before sliding down onto the sandy floor.He looks up at you with question. You don't pay attention to him, you feel too furious at yourself.  
"Why isn't this WORKING????????" You slam your fist onto the wall in front of you. Pain shoots up your forearm in spiked tendrils causing you to swear loudly. Angry tears leak out of the corners of your eyes, and you aren't even sure why you are crying anymore. Had things really gotten so out of control for you that you couldn't figure things out for yourself? And when did you become the needy, uncertain, unconfident one? Everything that you had thought you knew was all of a sudden a gigantic mess.  
On one hand, if you do like Kanaya then you probably already messed it up badly enough. And to make it worse if that is the case, then you might have messed Tavros up too. The tears come faster now, along with the crushing sense of helplessness and anger."uH....Vriska? are you okay?"  
"Yeah I'm fucking fine Tavros, couldn't 8e 8etter actually, everything is fucking great"  
"You want to talk about it?"  
"No Tavros, I don't want to fucking talk about it, just piss off already"  
He doesn't move, and that ticks you off.  
"I told you to PISS OFF Tavros!!!!!!!!" You screech at him.  
That doesn't get rid of him.  
"Why the FUCK ARE YOU STILL HERE. GET UP. GO DAMN IT. I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!!!!!!!!"  
He doesn't budge.  
"STOP PRETENDING LIKE WE’RE SOMETHING TAVROS, STOP ACTING LIKE YOU EXPECT ME TO LIKE YOU OR SOMETHING. YOURE NOTHING. YOURE A DISTRACTION.SO GO THE FUCK AWAY ALREADY!!!!!!!!"  
Not a word. Not a single movement from Tavros. He still sits on the ground in the same place you tossed him, looking up at you with watery brown eyes. His expression reads that of a kicked dog. Guilt washes over you and you slide down the wall to sit next to him. "Sorry tav" you mumble into your chest. "I didn't mean it"  
"I know" he slips his hand into yours and you squeeze it gently. It's more of a friendly gesture than a romantic one, but nonetheless it's comforting. You sit there for a long time, holding hands but not saying a word. Searching for something else to distract you, you look everywhere but at him,. Your eyes find his uneaten sugar stick lying on the ground coated in sand. Even more guilt comes as you realize he had spend his pocket money on that expensive sweet, and you had knocked it out of his hands.  
"I'll buy you a new sugar stick" you stand up and go to the sugar stand. Since there is a lack of a line at this time of day, your purchase is made quickly.  
When you get back to Tavros, he's playing with pebbles that he found near him, stacking and sorting them into different piles.  
"Hey this one is yours" you hand him the sugar stick and sit next to him.  
It takes an eternity for Tavros to speak.  
"So are you going to tell me what's wrong?"  
"Nothing." You reconsider your answer "everything." You correct  
"Just start from the beginning"  
As you explain everything that had been happening you feel the tension begin to bleed out of you, and by the time you're done you feel as if talking to Tavros might have been a good idea after all. When you’re done, you finally look at him.  
"Do you hate me?"  
"Hate you?"  
"After I used you..."  
"Even though that was kind of shitty, no i don’t"  
"You sure?"  
"Yeah"  
There is a long pause.  
"If you ever tell anyone about this ill kill you myself Nitram"  
"What are you gonna do, bite my lips to death?"  
"You never know 8a8y"  
He laughs, and for the first time in the last few days you feel maybe just the tiniest bit better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to send me those ideas, headcannons, suggestions and tell me what you think of this fic in the comments section below :D


	8. Chapter eight

===> Be the human about to make a very bad mistake 

You aren't sure how you got upstairs, in fact you aren't quite sure of anything at all. You hazily remember saying good bye to Kanaya and watching her swim away, but after that everything is a blur. Somehow you had found yourself in your room, sitting on the floor staring blankly at the grimoire. Once again from inside you can hear whispers, but this time they are louder. Your mind is clouded in the mingle of voices and incantations, children's laughter, women's screams, and the repetition of a phrase that is too faint to hear. It's terrifying, but yet it fills you with a morbid curiosity.  
Hand trembling, heart throbbing painfully against your chest, you open the black cover. The whispers die down until at last they are only a faint hum in the back of your mind. Your eyes flit over the first words in the book, reading them hastily. It appears to be an incantation of sorts, but it makes no sense to you. The words are not in a language you understand, or had ever seen before.  
"Nivt er tan lekxif rethach scenic ssah" you sound each word out with a trembling voice, slowly making your way down the crinkled brown page. When you reach the last sentence, you hesitate to read the final words. You are worried that it might actually work and unsure of what you would do if it did. _But magic isn't real, it can't possibly be real_ you think, skeptical once again. You argue with yourself on whether to read the last sentence or not. With a sudden burst of courage (and confidence in science) you utter the last line  
"Reht sejmn inacht uhei"  
The whispers stop completely for a second, and then they become a roar. All around you voices are talking, and finally you can understand what they are saying; "Reht sejmn inacht uhei".The last line of the spell is read over and over again, echoing in different pitches and accents. You hear an old lady stutter out the words, a middle aged man, even that of a child singing it like a nursery rhyme. The words on the page begin to move, seeping into each other and then bleeding onto the page. The once black font has become a dripping mess that looks like blood that puddles in the center of the book.

You are too terrified to move. 

That's when the smoke comes. From the pool of blood a thick black fog emerges in tendrils. It's swirls around your room in a terrifying display of beauty before converging into one column of smoke. It rears and then comes at your face in a rush of chanting voices. The smoke streams through your eyes and mouth, filling your head with chokingly dense fog. You claw at your throat, struggling to breathe. Your lungs are on fire. You then feel a sharp pain at the back of your neck, as if someone is driving a hot poker into it. Around you the chanting gets louder and louder as you writhe on your bed room floor. "Reht sejmn inacht uhei" they bellow at you. The pain in your neck gets hotter until it is too much to bear and you let out a blood curdling scream that seems to rip your throat and tear at your lungs. From your mouth black flames emerge in a gust of heat that floods back into the book.

And then it's over.  
The chanting stops with a halt, and there is finally silence. You lay on your floor, tears streaming down your pale cheeks, and sobs shaking your entire body. Everything in your body aches, your head, your torso, your neck, everything holds the same sharp mind numbing pain. You cough and its a painful sound, raw and loud. Something black dribbles out of your mouth and you realize in horror that it is blood.  
After what seems like an eternity of laying on the floor, you gingerly pick yourself up. The pain in your body has reduced to a dull throb except for the back of your neck. When you hobble your way to the mirror and look at it, you almost scream again.  
On the back of your neck a black brand is burned into your skin. The surrounding skin is tinted a dull grey, and small spidery black veins pulse out of the brand. Horrified, you reach out to touch it, only to be greeted by a fresh stab of pain. 

 

That is the last thing you feel before you crash into the floor unconscious.

 

When you wake up two hours later, the pain is gone. You don't touch your neck again as a caution, but you have the presumption that it wouldn't hurt even if you did. With a sigh you stand up and pad your way into the bathroom. You stoop down to retrieve some bath salts from your cabinet and then turn the water on. As the bathtub is gradually filled you strip off your clothes and inspect yourself in the mirror.  
The first thing you notice is your eyes. Your violet irises had turned a shade darker then they had been before. The change is not as noticeable however as the cuts on your neck. Long red marks seeping black blood from where you had scratched and blood is caked in the corners of your mouth as well. Bending down, you snag a wash cloth from the sink and gently begin to wash your wounds.  
After they are significantly cleaned,you step into the bathtub.  
As you bathe, you notice a weird feeling flowing throughout your body. It feels like something wild and unharnessed has made its home in your blood. It feels like...power.  
Power in its most raw form burning and twisting its way through your veins.  
You like it.  
Experimentally you hold your hand in front of you and think _"magic?"_  
You didn't expect it to work, but it does. All at once your hand lights up in deep black flames that dance around your finger tips. It would have been beautiful had it not surprised you, and been completely and utterly terrifying. You shriek at the sight of it, and plunge your hand into the water. The flame dies in an instant and you breathe a sigh of relief. However it isn't long before your curiosity strikes up again and you raise your hand out of the water. Once again your hand lights up in ebony flame, but this time you don't extinguish it. Instead you let the flames flicker as you watch them with a morbid fascination. It doesn't hurt like you would have imagined, but instead envelopes your hand in a warm and vaguely fuzzy feeling. You move your other hand into the fire to play with the flames. Your fingers dip and curve within the black, feeling the gossamer texture. When you take your hand back out, the flames remain on your fingertips. After brief consideration you trace your fingers down your arm, leaving a trail behind them. The black is striking against your pale skin, and in that moment you decide that you love your flames.

After your shower is done you head downstairs to grab some food. The pizza is nearly gone now, save for one lone piece in the center of the box. when you pick up the pizza something rather odd happens. The minute that your fingers make contact with the crust, the whole slice falls to ash. You gasp and clap your hand over your mouth. Needless to say, you are once again terrified. You reach for an orange now, and that withers at your touch as well. Scrambling to the pantry you rip open one of the packages of chips that your mother keeps buying. Without a second thought you plunge your hand into the plastic bag and watch each and every chip turn to a fine black powder. Then comes the Debbie cakes, they are ripped open one by one, and one by one they turn to dust. You continue to open things and watch then decay in front of you. Not even the drinks are safe. The milk curdles at your touch, the lemonade hisses and turns a deep acidic green, and the soda bubbles before changing into a thick tar like substance. Anything and everything consumable in the kitchen is gone in five minutes. When it is all reduced to waste you stagger back and catch hold of the counter to keep your balance. It's too much to take in, first the flames and now the food. 

You know what you need to do now; read the grimoire. 

As soon as you think that word the book appears out of nowhere. It drops onto the kitchen counter with a _plomph_ sound and a slight cloud of dust. You are hesitant to touch it at first, afraid that the voices and smoke would come again. However after several moments of indecision you finally flip the cover open again. What you see shocks you. Where the incantation had previously been in a different language, it is now written in English. What is even weirder is the fact that your name is written beneath it and you had no memory of writing it there. You flip to the next page, and the next, and the next. They all appear to be written in English, and a modern English at that. It seems to have changed to fit your time period. Besides the cover, it now resembles a textbook; chapters, an index, a glossary, and it is all laid out in an easy to read format.  
Well. That's suspiciously convenient.  
Nonetheless you continue to read, skimming some pages, and reading others thoroughly. The first chapter is all about controlling your magic, and the consequences of what will happen if you don't. It reads as follows.

_"Chapter one- All about your new found powers  
Hello Rose Lalonde by this time you are probably quite perplexed about your new found powers. Perhaps you are confused, bewildered, maybe even a bit terrified. But worry not, this is all part of the normal reaction to finding and claiming your own personal grimoire. Throughout this chapter you will explore how to control, harness, and use your abilities to their best quality._

_Part one-controlling your powers._  
 _We've all been through that awkward stage where flames fly out of our hands and everything we touch has turned to dust. Don't worry rose lalonde, this is all normal. What you are going through right now is just your body trying to accept all of that dark magic you unknowingly put into it. You may experience flames, decay, possibly mood swings, black blood coming out of your mouth, as well as the strong urge to destroy everything in your path. Remember, this is all normal._  
 _Lucky for you, there is a simple way to get rid of all these inconvenient outbursts and feelings. This is the process known as t͉͍̣̻̬̥h̠̤̙̦͚̓̉̈̉̑e̢̔ͤ̇ͩ̆̚ ̜͈̣̓̿ͬͧ͢b͈͖͑͂̿͆i̭̣̭ͬͨͥͬͩͬṇ̡͈̟͗̒ͫ̃͌ḋ̡̗i̱͐͌̈́̓̇͒̐n̗̘g̟̩͕̙̣̭͙̈́ͣͣ͒͂ͧ. t͉͍̣̻̬̥h̠̤̙̦͚̓̉̈̉̑e̢̔ͤ̇ͩ̆̚ ̜͈̣̓̿ͬͧ͢b͈͖͑͂̿͆i̭̣̭ͬͨͥͬͩͬṇ̡͈̟͗̒ͫ̃͌ḋ̡̗i̱͐͌̈́̓̇͒̐n̗̘g̟̩͕̙̣̭͙̈́ͣͣ͒͂ͧ is when the user of the grimoire (thats you) binds their magic to a certain item of sentimental value. The binding object is also known as the totem. The stronger the emotional connection between the enchanter (once again that is you) and the totem, the stronger the spells will be. However, when one performs {the binding} all of your magic will be linked to the totem. And If you desire to cast a spell, the totem must be handy. Previous users of this grimoire have chosen keepsakes such as rings, hair pins, and bracelets. b͈͖͑͂̿͆i̭̣̭ͬͨͥͬͩͬṇ̡͈̟͗̒ͫ̃͌ḋ̡̗i̱͐͌̈́̓̇͒̐n̗̘g̟̩͕̙̣̭͙̈́ͣͣ͒͂ͧ to a creature or another human being is discouraged and frowned upon.  
In order to cast t͉͍̣̻̬̥h̠̤̙̦͚̓̉̈̉̑e̢̔ͤ̇ͩ̆̚ ̜͈̣̓̿ͬͧ͢b͈͖͑͂̿͆i̭̣̭ͬͨͥͬͩͬṇ̡͈̟͗̒ͫ̃͌ḋ̡̗i̱͐͌̈́̓̇͒̐n̗̘g̟̩͕̙̣̭͙̈́ͣͣ͒͂ͧ you must chant while holding your totem. Whilst chanting please try to remember all that you can about the totem and why it is so important to you. Doing so will help form the bond and make it stronger._

_The incantation is as follows;_

_In this I promise all I am_  
 _Be flowed into the totem hand_  
 _And to this totem I proclaim_  
 _The splitting of my magic flame_

You stop reading there to consider what you want your totem to be. There is a lot in your house that could be counted as sentimental, but none that you could have easy access too like the book said. A weight around your neck reminds you that there is one thing that you could use; the pearl. Small, accessible, and holding a great sentimental value to you, it seems like the best option.  
You grasp the white pearl and close your eyes. Within your minds eye you imagine the first day that you found a gift on your rock. You envision the shell in your mind, lavender insides, smooth black on the outside. "In this I promise all I am..."You begin to chant as you remember the feeling you felt when you first cradled it in your hand. "Be flowed into the totem hand..." You see Kanaya now as she flashes her gills at you. "And to this totem I proclaim..." The pearl begins to get warm in your hand as you pour yourself into it. "The splitting of my magic flame" you finish. In a rush you feel all of your magic flow out of you and into the pearl. 

You consult the grimoire once more. 

_When you want to cast a spell using your totem you must use tt̙͂͑̽͒̅̒h̭̘͛̄ͮ̉̚e͇̹͓̦͓͒̓͐ͅ ͔̰b̠̠̹̽̑o̯͍͔͙̬̫͕ͦ̓͑̈́n̜̲̭̱͚͙̔̎ͭ̑d̼͈͚̭ͫ̈̍ͫ͒. t̙͂͑̽͒̅̒h̭̘͛̄ͮ̉̚e͇̹͓̦͓͒̓͐ͅ ͔̰b̠̠̹̽̑o̯͍͔͙̬̫͕ͦ̓͑̈́n̜̲̭̱͚͙̔̎ͭ̑d̼͈͚̭ͫ̈̍ͫ͒} is the magical connection between you and your totem. When accessing it simply hold your totem and reach out to grasp the {bond}. You do so by closing your eyes and reaching out to t̙͂͑̽͒̅̒h̭̘͛̄ͮ̉̚e͇̹͓̦͓͒̓͐ͅ ͔̰b̠̠̹̽̑o̯͍͔͙̬̫͕ͦ̓͑̈́n̜̲̭̱͚͙̔̎ͭ̑d̼͈͚̭ͫ̈̍ͫ͒ with your soul. Imagine yourself grabbing said bond and then say the words "I invoke thee"._

After you read that you flip through several pages of the book to find a spell worth trying. You are amazed to discover that the grimoire has a spell for nearly everything. There are spells on protection, summoning, transformation,healing,death curses, and even spells to change the weather. You find yourself most interested in the summoning section. The book teaches all different sorts of it; summoning familiars, items such as money and food, demons, and deitys. Seeing that you somehow managed to deplete all of your food, you settle on summoning some dinner.  
You close your eyes and envision the bond. It looks like sunshine to you and gives off a warm glow, almost as if it is woven out of sunlight. Cautiously you reach out for it and then whisper "I invoke thee". The bond begins to glow and hum which you take as a sign that you did it correctly.  
You open your eyes now and look at the page holding the summoning incantation. Still holding the pearl you say;  
"From nothing I create something with threads of words I create;" you have to consider what you want to eat before saying "a philly cheese steak with green beans and a slice of German chocolate cake, I call upon the power of the horror terrors and with this I make my claim" As the last words of the spell dies on your lips, black flames billow out of your totem. They swirl around the table in a whirlwind before dying down. Where they had been a steaming plate that held everything that you had asked for now rested.  
You are in awe. With a trembling hand you reach out to grab the sandwich. It doesn't turn to ash, and you grin. You scarf the meal down, savoring each bite of it. The philly cheese steak is perfectly cooked with cheese dripping out of the sides of the perfectly seasoned bun. The green beans taste like the kind that Roxy used to make for you; soggy but well seasoned. The German chocolate cake however is a different story. It's moist, with rich buttercream icing and chocolate chips decorating the top of it. When you bite into it you are greeted with an explosion of flavor. Closing your eyes as you chew, you treasure the taste as long as you possibly can. 

You don't notice that one of the black veins has begun to spread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha. I'm a monster. sorry guys


	9. Chapter nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being on hiatus for so long guys, please look at the end of the chapter for a long explanation of what happened. As always my tumblr is bishounen-prince if you want to send suggestions or ideas for this fic.  
> Happy reading!

===> Be Rose on the first day of school  
"Hey Rose! Over here!!!" Jade calls to you from the far side of the court yard, waving her hands in a wild and excited motion. "Hello Jade, John, David" you greet the four of them as you set your bag down on the grey cobblestone. 

The outer courtyard of your school was paved in neat grey stone that, over the many years, had gathered a bit of moss. Big oak trees planted every 15 feet or so completed the picture of a neatly trimmed garden. Before school each day, roughly 20 minutes before the bell rang, it had become your tradition to meet in the courtyard. This year was no exception, and so once again you were standing in the same spot that you always had. 

"Rose, why are you wearing a scarf?" John asks you, poking at the purple chiffon looped around your neck.  
"What?" You look down, seeming to have forgotten it's presence.  
"The scarf around your neck dip shit, why are you wearing it? Did someone like give you a hickey or something?"  
"David!" Jade hits him. "You don't just ask people if they have hickeys."  
"No no, it's perfectly fine" you rub the fabric between your fingers before adding "I just got a tattoo is all, and didn't want anyone to see."  
This excites them.  
"Ooh! What's it like?" Jade asks, green eyes sparkling with renewed interest.  
"When did you get it?"  
"Can we see!?"  
Dave makes a wild grab for your scarf, and pulls it off in one clean motion.  
Your heart skips a beat.  
You make a snatch for your scarf, but it is already too late. David sees it first with a dull "oh, rad", then comes Jade and John with their chorused "oh wow Rose!That is so cool!"  
 _Cool?_ You think, _how could a satanic brand be cool._  
"Wow sis, I didn't know you were that into mermaids."  
This surprises you. "Wait what?" You ask him.  
"The tattoo on your neck, the one with a mermaid..." You can't see his eyes, but you can tell he's giving you the 'for a Lalonde, you are pretty stupid" look.  
You turn to catch your reflection in the window behind you. Sure enough, where the brand was before is now a watercolor tattoo of a mermaid with a green tail.  
Wait.  
That can't be right.  
You blink. The tattoo flickers and turns back into the brand. You look at your friends, examining their faces. They don't seem to notice. After you blink again, the tattoo turns back into a mermaid.  
Blink.  
Blink.  
Blink.  
"Hey David is my tattoo still a mermaid?" You ask him.  
One pale eyebrow is lifted in questioning. "Yeah" he answers you.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah I'm sure, are you like drunk or something Rose?"  
"No, no, just a bit... Out of it"  
He nods, and goes back to scrolling through Tumblr. 

The school day ticks by at a painful speed. Each class seems to crawl by in a warp of teachers going over their syllabuses and restating classroom rules over, and over, and over again. By the time the bell chimes at 3:30 you are half asleep, and you're afraid that you may never recover from this mind dulling day. Around you kids begin to pack up their book bags, chattering loudly about their summers. You still sit in your seat; your legs don't want to move. It isn't until Jade snaps you out of your trance with a "Hey Rose, we're leaving" that you actually show any signs of life. With a sigh you pick up your bag, sling it over your shoulder, and walk with Jade to the student parking lot.  
Cars. Rows and rows of bright, shining, vehicles are lined up in a mass of reds, blacks, greys, whites, and the occasional blue. You spot your car amongst them, parked next to Jade's battered Jeep. It's black surface gleaming in the sunlight, shining and perfect. You wave good bye to Jade as you open the door and settle yourself inside. Setting your bag in the passenger’s seat, you dig your key ring out of the front pocket of your book bag. As you turn the key and feel the hunk of metal rumble to life beneath you with a low hum, you feel relief and the feeling of promise wash over you. Relief that the first day of school was over, and the promise of seeing Kanaya again. 

==> Continue to be the human three weeks later.  
Three weeks have passed in a flurry of essays, quizzes, and piles of homework. You aren't sure how you would have survived without Kanaya. Every day, no matter how shitty it had gotten, she was always there to greet you with a smile. And no matter how bad your day was, you always smiled back. She was like your own personal piece of Sun, there to shine for you at the end of every day. 

==> Be Kanaya  
You have gotten quite good at waiting. Every day you watch your clock as the hours creep slowly by on your watch. You've developed a nasty habit of obsessively checking it every few seconds. Sew a few stitches, check, sew another few stitches, and check again. Of course, Karkat has to point this out more often than not.  
"What the fuck is your problem Kan?"  
"Pardon?"  
"You keep looking at that ticking-circle"  
"Oh, I'm Sorry"  
You continue to sew, doing your best to ignore the watch. But, it isn't long until you find yourself once again gazing at it. A peice of cloth collides with the side of your head and you look over at Karkat's scowling face.  
"You did it again"  
"What? No I Didn’t!" You defend yourself, shifting your gaze away from his red accusing eyes.  
"Yes you totally fucking did!"  
"Karkat, I Have No Idea What You're Talking About"  
He lets out a little bark of annoyance, but doesn't say anything more. You once again pick up your needle and sew a few stitches, having to constantly remind yourself not to look at the time piece. Its several minutes until you glance again, and the minute your eyes make contact with it, Karkat scoffs.  
You look up at him, peeved. "What."  
"You did it again!"  
"No I Didn't"  
"Bull shit! I just saw you!"  
"I Really Didn't"  
"Yes you did"  
"Didn't"  
"Did"  
"Didn't"  
"Did"

===> Be Vriska  
You can see Kanaya squabbling with Karkat from across the market. Their voices carry surprisingly well, but before you can butt into the conversation Kanaya is already swimming away from Karkat in the direction of the camp border. She whizzes past you with a hurried "Hey Vriska!" And just like that, she's gone.  
"What was that all about?" You ask Karkat when you reach the stall.  
"Dunno, she leaves around this time every fucking day though and leaves me to man her booth, fucking prick" you can tell he's a bit happy about it, despite his tone of voice he must be glad to have something to do every day.  
"I wonder where she goes" he adds as an afterthought.  
 _Me too_ ,you think, _me too._  
And then you realize what you have to do and then you dash away. 

===> Be the human again  
Today you show your conjuring to Kanaya. She had known about your magic for some time and since then she had watched you do small stuff like lift pencils, play your violin using your mind, things like that. But today you intend to knock her fins off so to say.  
You had been perfecting your technique for quite some while and today, well today was the day to do it.  
You survey the ocean again until out in the distance you see a ripple and a flash of green. A grin finds its way onto your face and you try to hide by ducking your face as she swims up to you.  
“Hello Rose” she says cheerily, propping her upper body up onto the rock while looking up at you with those green eyes of hers.  
“Hello Kanaya” you reply equally as cordial.  
“You Told Me You Had A Surprise For Me Today, I Take It That That Still Stands, Correct?”  
“Of course it does”  
Kanaya looks at you expectantly as you close your eyes. Once again you envision the buzzing golden string and you take hold of it. As the image of what you want swims in your mind you mentally reach for it while thinking “from nothing I create something with threads of words I create…” When your spell is completed you feel another stabbing pain in your neck that makes you grimace. Black smoke snakes its way out of the pearl and into your hand until, at last, your gift is fully made. It’s a pearl necklace, almost identical to yours.

Smiling you hold it out to Kanaya.

===> Be Vriska  
You've followed Kanaya all the way to her mystery place, a safe 20 feet behind her. Every time she turned around to glance backwards you were careful to hide yourself behind rocks or beds of seaweed. You don't realize until it was almost too late that you were slowly approaching the shore. When you’re sure Kanaya isn't looking you swim off to the side so you are directly parallel to her. Kanaya gets to a clump of rocks at the shore and swims so that the top half of her body is exposed. You find a cluster of rocks not that far away and hesitantly peek above the craggy surface.  
You almost cry out to her to tell her that it’s dangerous, but your voice dies in your throat when you see who she’s with.  
A small pale human smiles and talks to her in English, a language you once thought was forgotten. You’re too horrified to move as you see the human chant and somehow produce a small token from smoke. Kanaya seems delighted at this and claps her hands excitedly, babbling away in English. The human hands her the token and you watch as Kanaya fastens a chain around her neck, all the time smiling a sickeningly happy smile. They continue to talk, both in English.  
You can't stand the sight of them and your vision turns red as your mood turns from horrified to outraged. You dive back into the water and begin to swim as fast as you can, not caring if they saw the splash or saw your tail. 

The world turns into crimson streaks as you swim.

===> Be Kanaya  
Your conversation with Rose is interrupted by a large splash to your left. You see the end of a blue spiky tail and a streak of white under the water.  
Vriska.  
You look at Rose in horror. Vriska had seen. Vriska knew.  
You stutter out an apology and swim away before Rose can even open her mouth. As you swim your mind races at an unhealthy pace as you think of what to say to Vriska. What was there to say? Sorry I let a human know we were real, sorry I almost betrayed our whole race and clan. There was nothing you could do to possibly make anything better at all.

In the distance you can see Vriska’s blue scales and you cry out to her. Her head whips back for a second and you catch a glimpse of her face. Hurt, betrayal, rage. All these emotions swim on her face in a contorted expression. She doubles her effort and swims even faster until, before you can realize it, you've both crossed the threshold of the clan. 

 

===> Be the rage filled mermaid  
You don't stop swimming until you almost collide with a market stall. Only when you're confronted with a stall full of sugared goods that you turn around to face Kanaya. The market place is silent; everyone’s attention is on you and her now. In the back of your mind your voice of reason tells you not to do this here, not now, to calm down and think of it rationally. You ignore that voice and wait for Kanaya to speak first.

“Listen, Vriska I Can Explain.” She tries, hesitant, pathetic.  
Your lip curls up into a cruel snarl. “Explain what Kanaya, explain WHAT EXACTLY?!?!?!?! EXPLAIN THAT YOU TALKED TO A HUMAN? EXPLAIN THAT YOU ALMOST DESTROYED US ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE BORED? EXPLAIN WHAT.”

She blushes a deep crimson and glances around at the market place. All eyes are on you as Vriska waits for your reply.  
“I- Its...Uh...It’s A Long Story, Please Let’s Talk About This Some Place Else”

“OH, LIKE I HADNT HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE. YOU AND YOUR LONG FUCKING STORIES. WELL WE’RE ALL LISTENING SO WHY DON'T YOU TELL US. WHY DON'T YOU TELL THE WHOLE CLAN HOW YOU SNEAK OFF EVERYDAY TO GO VISIT A HUMAN.”  
The surrounding mermen flinch at the word human, and Kanaya turns even darker red. 

“She’s Not Like The Other Humans Vriska, This One’s Different, She’s Nice, And Kind, And Smart. Rose Would Never Do Anything To Hurt Us”

It strikes you then like a knife in the back. Kanaya’s in love with her, its scrawled all over her face. It’s etched into every line of her face, and you feel bile build up in your throat.

“DONT YOU SEE WHAT SHES DONE TO YOU. SHES ALREADY GOTTEN INTO YOUR MIND, SHE'S ALREADY TWISTED HER WAY DEEP IN THERE THAT YOU THINK THAT SHE LOVES YOU? SHE CAN'T LOVE YOU KANAYA, SHES HUMAN FOR GOD'S SAKE.”

“I Don't--- I Don’t Love Her-” She looks around, trying to find refuge in any of the faces of the crowd. “I Don’t, I Don’t Love Her” All the faces around her are stone cold, judgmental. Not a single friendly face is to be found in the crowd. 

You laugh a cruel high laugh, but lower your voice. “Bullshit Kan, You love her, i know it, she knows it, and everyone here knows it too, wake up already”  
Now it’s her turn to yell, and its loud and passionate. Her voice is raw and filled with hurt.  
“NO, VRISKA.” She’s shaking now. “YOU NEED TO WAKE UP. I DON’T LOVE HER, I LOVE YOU. I HAVE LOVED YOU ALL MY LIFE YOU IDIOT. HOW DARE YOU. YOU'VE STRUNG ME ON FOR SO LONG, DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY I STARTED TALKING TO HER.”  
You’re stunned into silence. She said it. She actually said it out loud.  
“YOUVE TREATED ME LIKE SHIT FOR SO MANY YEARS SO NO WONDER I WANTED TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY ACTED LIKE THEY CARED ABOUT WHAT I WAS SAYING. SOMEONE WHO DID NOT INTERRUPT ME, SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T CARE ONLY ABOUT HERSELF.”

Your vision has defaulted back into red, and the sounds that come out of your mouth next don't even feel or sound human to you. It’s a primal scream that’s twisted its way into words that are barely distinguishable. “OH LOOK AT MISS HIGH AND MIGHTY. YOU THINK YOU’RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE AND YOU CAN POINT OUT MY FAULTS?!?!?!?!?. WELL GET THIS THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD KANAYA: I WILL NEVER LIKE YOU KANAYA. WE WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING. WE ARENT ANYTHING AS IT IS. IF YOU WANT TO GO HANG OUT WITH HUMANS, FINE. GO FUCKING LIVE WITH YOUR STUPID HUMAN GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, NOW, OR EVER AGAIN.”

===> Be Kanaya  
Vriska’s words hit you like a blow to the stomach with the sting of a sharp slap. You feel your eyes begin to fill with tears, and without thinking, you turn and bolt. You hazily feel yourself push through the crowd of people that had gathered around the two of you. The market stalls turn into a blur as you swim. In the distance you hear Karkat yell “Kanaya wait!”.  
“I want nothing to do with you, now, or ever again.” rings in your ears as you swim.  
You don’t know where you’re going until you’re there.  
The familiar texture of the rock greets your arms as you heave half of your body up onto it as sobs rack their way down your body. Humiliated. Devastated. You could barely think as your argument replays in your head.  
 _I want nothing to do with you now, or ever again. We will never be anything, We aren’t anything as it is. She can't love you, she’s human. I want nothing to do with you. Never be anything. Cant love you..._  
Your tears fall thick against your cheeks and it isn't until Rose lightly places her hand on your head that you realize that she's there.

===> Be Rose  
“Kanaya, Darling, what's wrong?” you ask tentatively, keeping your hand rested on top of her black mop of hair.  
The answer is in a series of whirs, clicks and what sounds like Latin. You assume she is speaking mermadic. Her entire body shakes and convulses as she cries. You can't tell what she’s telling you but you can feel the raw emotion behind it.  
You feel so powerless, watching her break down in front of you.  
“Is there anything I can do to help? Please Kanaya. Let me help you.” you implore.  
This seems to get her attention.  
She lifts her tear streaked face with a determined, almost crazy look.  
“Yes, T-Turn Me Human”  
You’re star struck. “I can’t do that, I’m not powerful enough”  
“Yes You Are Rose; I’ve Seen What You Can Do. Please, Ple-Ease Turn Me Human. Please, Please Pl-P-Please” She grabs your hands in a vice like grip as she begs.  
Seeing her like this hurts you. You can feel your heart ache as you look at her pleading face.  
“There’s no guarantee it would work…” You venture nervously.  
“I Don’t Care, I Want Out, I Want Out Of This Stupid Tail, I Want Out Rose, Please”  
“Okay okay darling, okay, ill help you, just let me get my grimoire, you stay right here okay?” You try to keep your words even and soothing. Kanaya gives you a small nod and swipes at her tears with the back of her hand. 

When you emerge from the house you’re glad to see Kanaya has calmed down a bit. True, she’s still borderline hysterical but at least her crying has stopped. She still looks soul crushingly devastated and her eyes are puffy and red. A pregnant silence hovers around the two of you.  
“Are you sure you want to do this?”  
She nods again, but refuses to make eye contact with you. With a sigh you flip through the pages of the grimoire until you land on a page titled ‘Transformations’. You read over it as quickly as you can, your eyes skimming the page.  
All the spell requires is a chant, the object you’re trying to transform (in this case its Kanaya), some sort of object you can bind the spell too, and few drops of blood from both parties. You grab the seashell she gave you once as your binding object and then retrieve a small needle from your bag.  
“Kanaya” you say gently. “I need you to hold out your hand.”  
“I just need a bit of your blood, this is going to hurt.” You prick her finger before squeezing the few drops of blood onto the shell. Then it’s time for your blood, and you get it without even flinching.  
“What Next?” Kanaya mumbles.  
“Grab my hand.” You instruct, and she does so.  
You grab hold of the bond once again, feeling its buzzing golden presence. “Please lord, let this work” you silently pray before you begin to chant. Kanaya’s hand is in your left hand, and the seashell is in the other as you begin. Your voice is soft at first but then builds with intensity. You envision how Kanaya would look as a human. Tan, probably tall, long slender legs, lithe muscles.  
The smoke once again crawls its way out of the totem. This time it’s less of a column and more of an engulfing fog, dark and thick, and it covers Kanaya. The last glimpse you see of her face is as the fog slowly covers it up. Her eyes are wide and fearful.  
Then, pain. Pain of all sorts. Pain from every angle. Unimaginably horrific pain. But you don't cry out, you don't stop chanting. You’re afraid of what would happen to her if you did.  
“Bend to my will” You rasp, finishing the last line of the spell.  
Then, from deep within that black writhing fog, you hear a scream. It’s a primal howl of pain, a savage yell. Your heart wrenches at the sound, but you don’t dare let go of Kanaya’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since October i seemed to develop the worst kind of writers block. I remember writing at least 8 different drafts of the same chapter only to delete them. Then came the problem of my horrible self esteem. For the longest time i thought i was this great and fantastical writer that was just the best at everything until a lot of my friends started to make fun of me for my horrible grammar. I know my grammar isn't the best, and that is mostly attributed to the fact that i write as if i am speaking or telling a story. I've also been on the search for a beta so i have been a bit afraid of posting a new chapter since grammar is such a big issue for me. Ive somehow gone from "I dont give a fuck what people think about my writing" to "I give too much of a fuck". I also have depression as well and these last few months haven't been that great. I've also been in a few plays, had to prepare for a few conventions, balance out my personal life, do a million loads of homework and so all and all i haven't had much time to write. But things are looking up for me, so i hope to be able to write more often. Hopefully i will be able to update regularly, probably on a week to 2 week basis. Careful though, its going to be a really emotional few chapters so get your tissues ready!  
> -Dani (bishounen-prince)


	10. Chapter ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day guys! Here's a super sad update to really complete your day :P

===> Continue to be Rose  
You watch in fixed horror as the once webbed fingers contort and twist their way into long delicate human ones. The screaming from inside the smoke grows louder until it reaches an unbearable peak, and you have to squeeze your eyes shut to hold back tears. It goes on and on until suddenly it dies mid-screech. The black dissipates and you get a clear sight of Kanaya's limp body.  
Your heart drops to your stomach.  
"Kanaya?"  
No response.  
"Kanaya!!"  
Your hands grab her shoulders and you shake her. Her head lolls about her shoulders and her face remains expressionless.  
"Kanaya please wake up!!" Your voice hitches in your throat.  
You tug her lifeless body into a hug and once again the tears threaten to fall. Your fingers wind their way into her black hair as you hold her.  
"Please wake up," you mumble, a tear tracing your cheek. It plops into the water with a faint plink.  
You don't realize it at first, but you've become completely engulfed in black flames. They surround you in a dancing black mass, licking at your body and Kanaya’s as well. From inside the flames comes soft crying, almost as if all the previous users of the grimoire cried with you as you held your poor dead friend. You howl with the voices, your eyes turning dark as the pain of loss starts to fill you. The wind joins in, and the ocean thrashes, as if it too is in pain. Dark clouds roll in above you with the promise of rain that falls as thick as your tears.  
But then, like a miracle, a small sound catches your attention. You hear her heart begin to flutter. It sounds faint, as if it’s struggling to hold on to the last strings of life.  
The world stands still.  
The wind, the sea, and the clouds all stand at attention, as you look into her face in search for a sign of consciousness. Kanaya coughs groggily and you can finally breathe again.  
"Kanaya? Kanaya are you ok?!"  
"...Rose?" Comes the meek reply.  
"Oh thank god." You hug her tighter with relief.  
"Rose I think it worked." She says after a few seconds.  
You pull away and look down to see that it did. Where there once was a tail there is now two elegant legs. Two elegant legs that don't know how to move. Two elegant legs that flounder around in the water. Two elegant legs attached to an otherwise completely naked body. You blush and try to avert your eyes, a difficult task seeing as how you're the only thing keeping her from slipping into the water.  
"Let's get you out of there." You say, stooping back down to help hoist her out of the water. She uses her arms to drag herself onto the rock. You help her stand up on shaky legs and hobble back to the house.  
When you enter the house, your mother has taken up her post at the couch. At the sound of the door swinging shut she looks up and sees you. She blinks her eyes slowly, and then falls back onto the couch. You assume that her mind is still swimming from the alcohol and so she didn't quite process the sight of her daughter carrying a half-naked girl to her room.  
"Who's th-" Kanaya asks before you gesture for her to be quiet. You wave your hand at the mess around your mother and the mess rights itself. The glasses fly their way into the sink, the bottle lands on the counter with a little 'plink', the broken glass repairs itself, and a blanket materializes. Finding your work there done, you and Kanaya begin to walk slowly up the stairs.  
The trip up the staircase takes longer than expected, and it's a good four minutes until you're at the top, and it's another two until you're in your room. After the door has been shut, and you've set Kanaya down to sit on the edge of your bed, you head into your closet. As your first order of business, you have to find Kanaya some clothes. Sifting through your closet, you find a pair of black silk pajamas for her, and shorts and a sweatshirt for yourself. Before you hand them to her you also snag her a bra and panties.  
"Here you go darling, you can change here, and I’ll change in the bathroom." You smile as you toss her the clothes. She snags it out of the air and looks at it in shock. Kanaya rubs the clothes between her fingers, studying the fabric and stitch work.  
"Who sewed these?" She asks in awe.  
"Hmmm I'm not actually sure; I ordered them off the internet."  
"Oh."  
You can tell she doesn't quite understand, but she looks too distracted to care. You leave her and go change into your pajamas. As you undress, you see your reflection in the mirror. The mermaid tattoo flickers back into its normal brand, and you feel your stomach pitch at the sight of it. It looks almost as it usually did, except now black veins pulse out of it in all directions. One big vine travels halfway down your back in a grotesque pattern. You poke it nervously, but it doesn't hurt. You blink and glamor it once again before shrugging on your shirt and heading back into your room.

===> Be the newly human Kanaya  
Your legs hurt. In fact everything really hurts, especially your heart. You've moved from hysterics to a slow heavy depression.  
Never be anything... still plays in your head as you try to figure out human clothes. Numbly you slip on the underwear, fumble with the hook on the bra and then tug the pants and shirt on. All in all you think you've got the clothes on correctly and you flop down onto the bed and bury your face in the silk sheets. In your mind you can still see Vriska's sneering face, and the cold expressions of the clan around you.  
Your heart pangs.

"Kanaya?" Rose's voice brings you back to reality.  
You look up.  
She places her hand on your shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
You shake your head.  
"In that case I'll just make us some hot chocolate and we can sit here for a while, ok?"  
You nod.  
She gets up and walks out the door, only to return a few minutes later holding two cups full of steaming liquid. Setting them down on the nightstand, she climbs onto the bed and pulls the fluffy blanket over herself. She hands you your mug and then quietly sips her own. For a long while, not one word is exchanged between the two of you.  
Rose is the one to break the silence.  
"You can get under the blanket if you would like dear." She says, pulling the edge of the blanket up and gesturing for you to move. You comply, scooting next to her until you are almost touching.  
"Should I put on a movie?"  
You nod again.  
It takes a movie, two episodes of American Horror Story, and enough snacks to feed a small army for you to finally find your voice again. Even when you do, you aren't your normal cheerful self. You only respond to Rose's questions with small reserved sentences. She notices your distress and once again poses the question "Do you want to talk about it?"

You start at the beginning. You tell Rose how you had been friends with Vriska all your life, and how you loved her the whole time. You talk about how she only toyed with you and took advantage of you. You rehash every argument of the last three weeks, her accusation that you were being courted, her humiliating you in front of your friends. Slowly you begin to fall back into your previous hysteria. You begin to cry and Rose wraps her arm around you and grabs your hand. She holds you in such a way that you feel if she let go, you might shatter to bits. This calms you down a bit, and you continue your story, this time a little calmer. You get so caught up in what you're saying that you forget to omit the part where Vriska accused you of loving Rose.  
"And then she said that I loved you and that I was lying to myself and..." You rattle on, but Rose stops you.  
"What did she say?"  
There's no way you can lie to her, so you opt for the truth. "Uh... she said I had fallen in love with you."  
"Well… Do you?" She cocks an eyebrow at you.  
"Do I what?"  
"Do you love me?"  
You hadn't thought about before.  
"I... I don't think I actually know what love is."  
She nods again, looking pensive.  
"Do _you_ know what love is?"  
"I think I do, at least."  
"Oh."  
After you finish your story, Rose decides that sleep would be a good idea. She gets off the bed to turn off the light before trying to walk out of the room with her pillow tucked under her arm.  
"You should try to get some sleep." She says warmly as she walks out.  
"Where are you going?" You ask inquisitively. You don't see why you both can't sleep in this room; the bed seems big enough for the two of you.  
"I was just going to go sleep in the guest room."  
"Oh, well, goodnight?"  
"Goodnight." She shuts the door with a soft click and walks down to the empty guest room. That night as you fall asleep thinking about Rose's question. Her ‘Well do you?’ joins the thrum of voices in your head.  
 _...want nothing to do with you now, or ever again. We will never be anything, We arent anything as it is. She can't love you, she’s human. Well do you? I want nothing to do with you. Never be anything. Cant love you. well do you?..._

The next morning arrives in a flurry of sunlight and seagulls cawing. You mash your face into the pillow and try to go back to sleep, but it's impossible. Only a few minutes of fruitless effort passes until Rose is poking her head through the door.  
"Good morning!" She chirps, balancing two plates on her arm and holding a cup in her hand.  
"What's good about it?"Yyou grumble, rolling over and throwing the blanket over your head.  
"Well at least I know you're a morning person." Rose jokes lightly as she sets the food down.  
You don't respond, and she sits down on the edge of the bed.  
"Are you feeling better at all?" Rose asks, resting her hand on your shoulder through the comforter.  
"Just a bit." You grumble  
"Well, then you should get up dear, we've got a big day ahead of us." She nudges you with her elbow adding, "And I made food."  
This wakes you up a bit, and you roll back over and peek up at her through the blankets.  
"Food?"  
"Yes food, eggs, bacon, and some coffee."  
"Coffee?"  
"It's like hot chocolate, except it helps wakes you up."  
Well that sounds like it could be of some use to you in your current state. You sit up, and Rose hands you a cup. As you both sit and eat your breakfast, she goes over her plans for the day. You ask her what she wants to do, and she laughs at you.  
"Well we can't _do_ anything as long as you can't walk properly. You can't go floundering around like you just lost your tail, so I guess the first order of business is to teach you how to walk."  
"What will we do after?"  
"Well we could do anything really. It all depends on what you want to do."  
"I don't know what to do. I'm not human, remember?"  
"Well we could go shopping, or go to an amusement park, or walk around town?"  
They all seem fun, but something stops you before you can decide.  
"Rose? Don't you have school today?"  
"Yes, but I can skip for today. I'm sure they won't miss me."  
"Is that okay?"  
"Of course," Smiling deviously, she adds, "I'll just mark myself present and they won't even notice."  
"Uh... How will you do that, exactly?"  
"I'll just cast a quick spell. Trust me, it'll be fine."  
"Are you s-"  
"It's just a spell, Kanaya."  
You want to believe her, but there seems something a little off about that sentence. It may be just you but you swear you saw her eyes flash a shade darker. You don't know what to say to her so you stay silent. After all, Rose is a smart human, if she was in danger she would stop it... Right?  
Breakfast is over before you know it, and soon after it's time for walking lessons. Rose helps you out of the bed and allows you to hang on to her as you take a few steps. After you've walked around the room at least three times, she decides to let you try to walk on your own.  
"Kanaya, I'm going to let you go now." She says, slowly lifting your arm from her shoulders.  
"Rose, I don't really think I'm ready..." You trail off, but she's already stepping away from you slowly. You can barely stand on your own, and you teeter from side to side before latching onto the bedpost to steady yourself.  
"Rose I-"  
"You'll be fine." She assures you.  
You slowly let go of the bedpost and take a cautious step forward, and then another, and another.  
"I'm doing it, Rose! Look, I'm walking!!" However, your happiness was premature as you fall onto the ground with a bang.  
"Are you okay?" Rose appears at your side, her eyebrows drawn together in worry.  
"Yes, yes, I'm perfectly alright. Just a little fall is all."  
She helps you back on your feet, and you try again. It takes what seems like a million tries and a million falls for you to be able to walk across the room without falling. Even then you're still not completely sure of yourself. It feels odd to simply have legs, much less walk on them.  
"Do you want to take a walk on the beach? It might help a bit." Rose suggests.  
"Sure."  
Rose’s phone buzzes on the nightstand. She picks it up and squints at the lit up screen.  
"You can pick out some clothes in my closet over there." She points at a large door. "I've just got to... Take care of something, really quick."  
You nod as Rose steps out of the room and shuts the door behind her.

===> Be Rose  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has begun trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 8:05 --  
TG: Bro  
TG: Broski  
TG: Brobama  
TG: Bilbro baggins  
TG: Where the hell are you  
TG: Call me  
TG: Holy shit seriously where are you  
TG: Dude  
TG: Ugh call me  
TG: Hello??  
TT: Hi  
TG: Can you call me?  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --  
It takes a few rings for Dave to actually pick up the phone.  
"Rose?"  
"Sup."  
"Where the hell are you? We waited for you this morning but you didn't show. I was going to ask if you had any lab goggles, ‘cause I forgot mine"  
Ah, so that's why he was calling.  
"I'm sick so I stayed home." You fake a weak cough for him.  
"Yeah sue you are asshole, way to help your bro out."  
You hear Kanaya open the door behind you and say, "Hey, is this okay to wear?" You hush her and then give her a thumbs up. She nods and then ducks back inside.  
"Oh my god, is someone at your house? Rose?"  
"No, that was the TV."  
"Yeah like I haven't heard that one before. You know I was reading this thing the other-"  
You mumble a quick transport spell that you had learned a few days ago.  
"Look in your bag again." You interrupt him.  
"Don't you think I would have done that already?"  
"Maybe you just didn't look hard enough"  
"I practically tore apart my bag, I'm pretty sure it isn't there Rose."  
"Just check again..." You urge sweetly.  
"Ugh, fine. Asshole." You hear him rummage around on the other line.  
"Oh, wait, shit there they are." He says. "Guess I didn't need you here after all, Lalonde."  
"How touching." You snark back at him.  
"You know how much brotherly love I have- shit the bell just rang, gotta go, bye!"  
After he hangs up, you walk back into the room. You find Kanaya walking in small circles in the center of the room, looking down at her feet.  
"You ready to go?"  
Your voice must have startled her because she makes a misstep and crashes to the ground.  
"Oh, sorry." You rush to her and then help her up.  
"I'm not going to break, Rose."  
"Yes I know, I know, I'm just making sure that you're okay"  
"Well I'm fine. Are we going to go?"  
"Yup, I just have to change really quickly." You grab some shorts and a tank top and begin to change, forgetting that she’s there. As you slip on your shirt you catch her looking at you. Her eyes travel up and down your body, clearly impressed, and you can't help but smirk.  
"My eyes are up here darling."  
"I... Uh..." She blushes and looks down. "Sorry."  
Laughing, you tug on your shorts, grab your flip flops, and then open the door for Kanaya. Before you walk out of the room, you remind her not to talk until you're outside the house.  
When you get downstairs, your mother is awake and teetering around the living room, martini glass in hand. She spots you and walks over, swaying from side to side. "Hello Rose, and... Rose’s friend?" She waves drunkenly at the two of you.  
"Hello, Mother. This is my friend Kanaya. We're going for a walk." You aim to hurriedly walk out the door, but Kanaya doesn't seem to understand the situation.  
"Hello ma’am. It's nice to meet you." She extends her hand, and your mother shakes it.  
"I swear I've seeeen you somewhere." Your mother says, squinting her eyes at Kanaya. "Yes, yes, I do remember you, you were here last night."  
 _Shit shit shit shit, you have to get out of here before she does something._  
"Mother, we really should go." You begin to slowly back away, shielding her  
"Rosey, stay here for a second." she says. She places her hand on your shoulder in an imitation of a motherly gesture, but her acrylic nails dig into your flesh. Her posture has clenched up in a way that you know too well.  
"I'll be out in a second darling." You say, your smile a little strained.  
"It was nice meeting you!" Your mother calls out cheerfully as Kanaya walks out the door. As soon as it swings shut, she turns to face you head on and her happy expression has been replaced with a nasty one.  
"How dare you bring her into this house!" She hisses, jaw clenched.  
"What are you talking about? She's just one of my friends from school." You try to play it off, hoping that her alcohol addled mind will accept that as an excuse. That doesn’t seem to be the case. The morning martinis have only made her angrier.  
"One of your friends who you bring _naked_ into our house? Who sleeps in your room? Disgusting."  
"I... She..." Once again you find yourself at a loss for words. It doesn't matter though; she fills the space for you.  
"You're disgusting Rose. It's bad enough you are a complete fucking disappointment, but now you're a dyke, too? I should have never had a daughter if I knew this was how you were going to turn out." She spits in your face. Her nails dig harder into your shoulder, and you grind your teeth to stop from crying out.  
"I want her out of this house, do you hear me? I will not support this disgusting... thing of yours. I will not have two _queers_ eating _my_ food, living under _my_ roof, fucking in the rooms of _my_ house."  
"It's not like you would be sober enough to notice anyway." You mumble under your breath, before realizing that you had said it out loud. Your mothers face turns red and her fist collides with your mouth, sending you sprawling onto the ground. You use the back of your hand to wipe the black blood that drips from the wound. Your mother isn't apologetic this time, and her expression continues to be that of drunken anger.  
" _How dare you disrespect me._ " She growls, voice lowering. "I have given you a place to live, food to eat, I have provided for you for 17 years, and this is how you repay me? By bringing your dyke girlfriend into my house? By disrespecting me? Ungrateful. You know your sister was the same way, always ungrateful; and then she left us. She left _you_. Guess that shows how much she cared for you. You'll end up just like her you know, running away from your problems, like a coward." She spits that word out as if it was disgusting to have it in her mouth.  
Her words hit home like an arrow, and your eyes burn with hatred. You feel your magic course through you, and before you can stop it, your black flames cover your body in a horrifying display of rage.  
"Do not call her that." You bellow at her. Your flames grow, and your hair whips around your face. Your mother’s eyes widen and she backs away in panic. Your body, almost as if it's moving on its own, rises from the ground. The voices have returned, and they chant ‘Hurt her, hurt her like she's hurt you’. You raise your hand, as if you intend to strike a final blow. Your mother cowers before you, throwing her arms up to protect herself. Her face holds an expression that you know well; terror. You see your 6 year old self, your 10 year old self, your 15 year old self in her expression. You see all the times that you've assumed such a position as she reeled before you, brandishing her hand as you do now.  
Your hand drops limply to you side, as your blood runs cold.  
"I..."  
You're at a loss for words as you turn tail and run out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always my tumblr is bishounen-prince if you would like to yell at me


	11. the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry oh my god

Ok so  
THis fanfiction is discontinued until i some how find the will power to actually sit down and write. Last year when i started this i was starting out high school and i thought that writing was my passion. Welp. I actually hate writing now because school has killed all of my interests. I am also no longer a homestuck fan and i haven't read any pages in forever. This fan-fiction does have an ending, it was supposed to have 23 chapters and if you want to take up the torch and write those last few chapters please message me at birdsons.tumblr.com  
For those of you who have been waiting a year for the ending, here it is (the summary version)

Rose and Kanaya fell in love after all. Kanaya spent a month out of the water getting to know earth before she decided to return to the sea. Over this month Rose became more and more dependent on magic and the black veins began to grow although no one noticed. After Kanaya returns to the sea she is welcomed with open arms and her life returns to normal(ish). Her and rose continue to date although its harder now because kanaya is a mermaid again. Rose begins a quick downward spiral of relying on magic and then she turns to drinking. After 6 months of a downward spiral she hits rock bottom and lashes out at Kanaya. Kan is heart broken and turns to vriska while rose falls apart. Roxy returns to the house to take care of Rose and while she is there discovers the magic. She thinks up a solution to all of roses problems, and after sobering Rose up they put the plan into motion. The plan is to basically turn Rose into a mermaid so she can be with Kanaya. She will use all of her remaining magic to transform herself and go to the ocean. John and dave (now a couple) and Jade are told about the plan and they spend a day saying goodbye to Rose and fulfilling her bucket list. At the end of the story Rose fakes her death and turns into a beautiful mermaid with octopus tentacles instead of a tail. She still has a bit of magic that is trapped in the pearl necklace and she uses this to enchant a few devices she can use to communicate her friends. She then finds kanaya and they pretty much live happily ever after  
However  
Meanwhile on land  
Rose's friends cope with loosing rose (sort of, too an extent) and Roses mother believes that it is her fault that rose committed "suicide" and becomes even more drunken if thats possible

and basiclaly  
thats what happened  
im sorry i couldnt write the rest of this


End file.
